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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064573518" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Better Definitions</p><p></p><p>ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing</p><p>in the middle.</p><p></p><p>BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women go to curl up and dye.</p><p></p><p>CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.</p><p></p><p>CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they </p><p>are dead.</p><p></p><p>COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.</p><p></p><p>DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.</p><p></p><p>EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.</p><p></p><p>GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more </p><p>damage.</p><p></p><p>HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.</p><p></p><p>INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.</p><p></p><p>MYTH: A female moth.</p><p></p><p>MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.</p><p></p><p>RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.</p><p></p><p>SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time</p><p></p><p>TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.</p><p></p><p>TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.</p><p></p><p>YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.</p><p></p><p>WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.</p><p></p><p>===================================================</p><p></p><p>A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their</p><p>ailments. </p><p>"My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup." </p><p>"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad that I can't see to pour my</p><p>coffee." </p><p>"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." </p><p>"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." </p><p>"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." </p><p>"Well, it's not all bad. </p><p>We should be thankful that we can still drive."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064573518, member: 14320"] Better Definitions ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women go to curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH: A female moth. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. =================================================== A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their ailments. "My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad that I can't see to pour my coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive." [/QUOTE]
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