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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064563949" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Filthy Funny Sexual Positions</p><p>Part 3</p><p></p><p>The Matrix: You and your buddy are double-teaming a chick, and you pull out and start spanking all over her face, porno style. Only the thing is, she dodges the spunk blasts, moving faster then the rules of physics would let a fat slut like that move. Just as she's about to get away, your buddy grabs her by the hair, sticks his dick in her ear, and says 'Dodge this!' as he blows out her eardrum. </p><p></p><p>My Little Pony: Having her doggie-styled while harnessed around the mouth with her dirty underwear. </p><p></p><p>Cunt Trumpet: Fill a woman's cunt with air by placing your lips on her vertical smile and blowing into it. Then, punch her lower abdominal area without warning and release the trapped air. The harmonious queef produced should be the sound of a poorly played trumpet. Great instrument to pick up at band camp. </p><p></p><p>Affrin: When you and some random ho are 69ing, you pull out of her mouth and shoot a load in her nostril up to her brain, then smurf her on the nose. (A.K.A. Growth Spurt) </p><p></p><p>One Armed Bandit: Make your lady all happy by telling her that you would love to give her a massage. When she rolls over, start to massage her with one hand while you furiously jerk off with the other. When she starts to enjoy it, blow a nice load of spunk all over her back and run out the room before she can turn around. You are the one armed bandit </p><p></p><p>Tony Danza: When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say 'Who's the boss?' and stick it in her ass. Before she has a chance to complain you shout 'TONY DANZA!' and punch her in the head.</p><p></p><p>Toboggan Ride: Get yourself a fat girl and lay the bone doggy style on the top of a set of stairs. Before you blow your nut, give her one last punishing thrust, pull her elbows back and tip her down the stairs. Using her elbows as handlebars attempt to steer in case of change of direction down stairs. You have to use fat bitches because skinny ones can inflict injury on you as well. </p><p></p><p>Turkey Stuffer: It's Thanksgiving time, and you want to get more into the spirits of the white man raping the Indians of their land, so what do you do? Yes, that's right; you bang your girl doggy style, and right before you are about to nut, pull out and blow all over your hand. Make that bitch scream "Gobble Gobble" as you jam your jizz hand straight up her ass.</p><p></p><p>Rose Red: Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweethearts neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her pooper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.</p><p></p><p>Mushroom Stamp: You and some ho are going at it, and you find out she is on the rag when you go down to try and please her with your mouth. That nasty bitch has got to pay, so what do you do? Start ramming that bitch hard and fast so your dick gets all sorts of blood on it, then give her a mushroom stamp by smurfing her right on her forehead. </p><p></p><p>Shinter: The inverted shocker, just 1 in the pink, 2 in the stink.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064563949, member: 14320"] Filthy Funny Sexual Positions Part 3 The Matrix: You and your buddy are double-teaming a chick, and you pull out and start spanking all over her face, porno style. Only the thing is, she dodges the spunk blasts, moving faster then the rules of physics would let a fat slut like that move. Just as she's about to get away, your buddy grabs her by the hair, sticks his dick in her ear, and says 'Dodge this!' as he blows out her eardrum. My Little Pony: Having her doggie-styled while harnessed around the mouth with her dirty underwear. Cunt Trumpet: Fill a woman's cunt with air by placing your lips on her vertical smile and blowing into it. Then, punch her lower abdominal area without warning and release the trapped air. The harmonious queef produced should be the sound of a poorly played trumpet. Great instrument to pick up at band camp. Affrin: When you and some random ho are 69ing, you pull out of her mouth and shoot a load in her nostril up to her brain, then smurf her on the nose. (A.K.A. Growth Spurt) One Armed Bandit: Make your lady all happy by telling her that you would love to give her a massage. When she rolls over, start to massage her with one hand while you furiously jerk off with the other. When she starts to enjoy it, blow a nice load of spunk all over her back and run out the room before she can turn around. You are the one armed bandit Tony Danza: When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say 'Who's the boss?' and stick it in her ass. Before she has a chance to complain you shout 'TONY DANZA!' and punch her in the head. Toboggan Ride: Get yourself a fat girl and lay the bone doggy style on the top of a set of stairs. Before you blow your nut, give her one last punishing thrust, pull her elbows back and tip her down the stairs. Using her elbows as handlebars attempt to steer in case of change of direction down stairs. You have to use fat bitches because skinny ones can inflict injury on you as well. Turkey Stuffer: It's Thanksgiving time, and you want to get more into the spirits of the white man raping the Indians of their land, so what do you do? Yes, that's right; you bang your girl doggy style, and right before you are about to nut, pull out and blow all over your hand. Make that bitch scream "Gobble Gobble" as you jam your jizz hand straight up her ass. Rose Red: Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweethearts neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her pooper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming. Mushroom Stamp: You and some ho are going at it, and you find out she is on the rag when you go down to try and please her with your mouth. That nasty bitch has got to pay, so what do you do? Start ramming that bitch hard and fast so your dick gets all sorts of blood on it, then give her a mushroom stamp by smurfing her right on her forehead. Shinter: The inverted shocker, just 1 in the pink, 2 in the stink. [/QUOTE]
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