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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064528490" data-attributes="member: 14320">What I've Learned As I've Matured:1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. Allyou can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.2. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some peopleare just assholes.3. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it onlytakes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.4. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteenminutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.5. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.6. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you'refinished.7. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unlesswe are celebrities or political figures.8. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationshipis at first, the passion fades.9. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children,they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.10. I've learned that the people you care most about in life aretaken from you too soon and all the less important ones just nevergo away.Bloopers*Please excuse Connie from gym class today as she had difficulty breeding*Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. *Please excuse Clarence from being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent sized. *Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. *Please excuse Jane Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. She had an absent tooth. *Please excuse my daughter's absence. She had her periodicals.</blockquote>

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