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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064527259" data-attributes="member: 14320">Bunk BedsThis teenager shares a room with his kid brother -- he's got the upper bunk and the kid has the lower bunk. One night the teenager sneaks a girl into the bedroom and begins fucking her in the top bunk. She starts getting loud, so worried, he whispers: "Look, don't be going 'harder,' 'deeper,' my brother might hear and tell on us. If you want it harder say 'tomatoes,' and if you want it deeper say 'lettuce.'" So they're going at it hot and heavy and she's screaming "LETTUCE!" "TOMATOES!" "LETTUCE."Next morning, the kid says to his brother "Hey, next time you make sandwiches in the bedroom, be more careful -- last night you dripped mayonnaise all over me!There Once Was a Grocer Called Great Scott.He Tried to Sell Groceries but Could Not.So He Closed All the DoorsAnd Used the Cashiers as Whores.And Now They Call His Store ‘Great Twat’.A worried father confronted his daughter one night.I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough andcommon, and bloody stupid with it.""Oh, no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's everso clever, we've only been going out 9 weeks andhe's cured me of that illness I used to get oncea month."Q. Why did the Nymho get herself arrested?A. She wanted to go to the penile colony.A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."</blockquote>

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