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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064522224" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Etiquette For Men</p><p></p><p>Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.</p><p>It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:</p><p>a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master</p><p>b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse</p><p>c. After wrecking your boss' car</p><p>d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"</p><p>e. When his date is using her teeth</p><p></p><p>Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a</p><p>friend out of jail within 12 hours.</p><p></p><p>If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is</p><p>off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.</p><p></p><p>The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's</p><p>running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes.</p><p></p><p>For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of</p><p>hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.</p><p></p><p>Bitching about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge</p><p>is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.</p><p></p><p>No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present</p><p>for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddies</p><p>birthday is optional.</p><p></p><p>When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,</p><p>you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but</p><p>you may never ask who's playing.</p><p></p><p>It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when</p><p>you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by</p><p>a topless super model... and it's free.</p><p></p><p>Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.</p><p></p><p>If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem.</p><p>You didn't see nothin'.</p><p></p><p>Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice</p><p>of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.</p><p></p><p>Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal</p><p>footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all</p><p>other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the</p><p>conversation you need.</p><p></p><p>The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just</p><p>a friend" have had carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact</p><p>that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do</p><p>it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064522224, member: 14320"] Etiquette For Men Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss' car d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game" e. When his date is using her teeth Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is optional. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super model... and it's free. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem. You didn't see nothin'. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have had carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. [/QUOTE]
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