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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064514145" data-attributes="member: 14320">Male illness *I. Body Aches For Three Days a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. b. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor. c. "SCREW doctors" wins the day. d. Sleep the days away. *II. Upper Respiratory Infection a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. b. Hacking up some pretty scary stuff. c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor. d. screw doctors" wins the day. e. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Green Acres. *III. Ear Infections a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. b. Left ear clogs, pressure mounts. c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor. d. screw doctors" wins the day. e. Right ear clogs, now almost completely deaf. f. Impersonation of Helen Keller nearly dead on. "Ruh rim rey rood. Har, har, har." g. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Bonanza. *IV. Break Down and See Doctor a. "Next time, don't wait. Here, take this, this and this." b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. *V. No Progress, Ears Ringing, See Specialist a. "Maybe ringing will go away, maybe it won't. Let's see which way it goes. $150 please." b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. *VI: Ears Clear Up, Chest Gets Worse, Ears Reinfect, Chest Gets Better a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I masturbated. b. Go back to original doctor. "Here, take this, this, this, this this and this. Call me if you bleed out of your ass." c. Still sick after five weeks. d. The sound "Fuck doctors" replaces ringing in my ears._________________________________________There was a young lady from Brewster, Who's ass was so nice that I goosed her, But her panties were thin, And my finger slipped in, And it still just don't smell like it used ter.</blockquote>

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