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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064496636" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Hypothetic And RealisticA little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically... so he asked his dad.His dad said, "Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000.He went and asked and came back and said, "She said yes"."Well", said the dad, "Go ask your sister the same question."He did and came back and said,"She said yes."And the dad said, "Now go ask your brother the same thing."He did and came back and said, "He said yes too!"And the dad said, "Well hypothetically we're sitting on three million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 whores and a fag!This guy goes into a whore house and gives the lady at the front desk$500 and tells her that he wants a woman that can handle him. Shereplies, go down the hall and its the second door on the right. He doesand just as they get started she starts screaming from the pain. He thenmarches back to the front desk and tell the woman that he said he wanteda woman that could handle him. She says, ok go down the hall and its thethird door on the left. He does and once again the woman startsscreaming just as they get started. Then he goes back to the front deskand she says I know I know you want a women that can handle you. Shesays, ok ok this time go all the way down the hall and down the stairs,there won't be any lights so just feel around till you hit something wetand stick it in. He does this and just as they get started nothinghappens there isn't any screaming. Well he thinks, finally, this couldwork. As he gets into it he shouts "Oh yea, talk to me baby". Shereplies "MOOOOOO"! Spanish Words Of The DayFor those of you who are still trying to perfect your Spanish…this should help!Spanish Words of the Day!1. CheeseThe teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.Pepito replies: 'Maria likes me, but cheese fat.'2. MushroomWhen all of my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.3. ShoulderMy fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn't know how to read soI shoulder.4. TexasMy fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at!5. HerpesMe and my fren ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got herpes.6. JulyJu told me ju were going to that store and July to me! 'Julyer!'7. RectumI had 2 cars but my wife rectum!8. JuarezOne day my gramma slapped me and I said, ' Juarez your problem?'9. ChickenI was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.10. WheelchairWe only have one enchilada left, but don't worry, wheelchair.11. Chicken wingMy wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.12. BishopMy wife fell down the stairs, so I had to pick the bishop.====Two blondes are having lunch catching up with each other's news."I heard you've given up smoking, is it true?"..."Yes, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two months.""But you were such a heavy smoker, you must tell me your secret.I've tried everything to quit.""Well it's really quite simple. Every time I get the urge tosmoke a cigarette, I suck on a LifeSaver instead""Well that's easy for you, but I don't live near the beach"====Why do women prefer old gynecologists?They have shaky hands!What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?A chin rest.MEN'S/WOMEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKINGKissing/Light PettingWhat he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless beforeyour seductive ways!"What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic breath--ewwww! "UndressingWhat he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"Foreplay/Oral SexWhat he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of yourimpressive manhood for hours."What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."PenetrationWhat he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!"What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"Your OrgasmWhat he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!"What he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this performance. "What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!"Postcoital BlissWhat he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like."What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbianfriend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."§§§«¤»«¤»§§§«¤»«¤»§§§«¤»«¤»§§§«¤»«¤»§§§A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment."Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist said, "I will need the information for the doctor.""It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered, "You see, I have a very large and constant erection.""Well, the doctor is very busy today," said the receptionist, "but maybe I can squeeze you in!"FascinateA teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence. Brian raises his hand and says, "The sky is fascinating."The teacher says, "No that's fascinating."Jennifer raises her hand and says, "When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated."The teacher says, "No that's fascinated."So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her tit's are so big she could only fasten eight!======Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let have a look". "Fuck me!!" says the doctor " what could have made a hole as big as that?"Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant".The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and thin, this hole is enormous".Patient replies "He fingered me first".======There was an old whore from the Azores,Who's cunt was so covered with sores,That the dogs in the street,Wouldn't eat the green meat,That hung from festoons in her drawers.</blockquote>

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