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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064474242" data-attributes="member: 14320">West Virginia FolkA guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to hisbeloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.=How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married? There's driedtobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.=Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in WestVirginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the highschools.=What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in West Virginia? Documentaries.=Where was the toothbrush invented? West Virginia. If it had beeninvented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.=A West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says tothe driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"=Did you hear about the $3 million West Virginia State Lottery? Thewinner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.=The governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down! Yep. Pert' neartook out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too.Both books went up in flames and they hadn't even finished coloring oneof them.=A new law was recently passed in West Virginia. When a couple getsdivorced, they are STILL cousins.=At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the West Virginia driverwhat gear he was in at the moment of impact. He replied, "tractor hatand camouflage hunting outfit"=Folks in West Virginia now go to movies in groups of 18. They were told"17 and under are not admitted".=A West Virginia man walked into a Kwik Stop and asked for all the cashin the drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up thestore clerk and worked the counter himself for 3 hours until policeshowed up and grabbed him.=A West Virginia man spoke frantically into the phone, 'my wife ispregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is this herfirst child?", the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is herhusband!"=================================================================I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you..... If youupset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it'sworth the extra effort?=================================================================When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?"The correct response is, "Do I look stupid?" "I Own That"A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout-lookingVegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation Andeventually asks the hooker,"How much do you charge?"Hooker replies, " It starts at $500 for a hand-job."Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap, no Hand-job isworth that kind of money!"The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?""Yes. "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?""Yes.""And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?""Yes.""Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, Iown them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy issitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-jobof a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so am azed,he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"The hooker replies, "$1,500.""I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do yousee that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright.And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every Cent of$1,500."The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job,Decides to put off the new car for another year or so,and says, "Sign me up."Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.He can scarcely believe it but, he feels he truly got his money's worth.He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one Glorious andunforgettable experience.He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"The hooker says,"Come over here to the window, I want to Show yousomething. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid outbefore us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?""Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."________One day, a blonde and a brunette were out fora ride in the blonde's new car.Suddenly, some jerk pulled in front of them.The blonde then put her lips on the steering wheel.The brunette feared for her life, but had the courageTo ask, "What are you doing?!"The blonde calmly replied, "I'm trying to blow the horn."</blockquote>

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