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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064469334" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><span style="color: Blue"><strong>Poor Daddy</strong></span></p><p></p><p>One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."</p><p></p><p></p><p>A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.</p><p></p><p>When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"</p><p></p><p>Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"</p><p></p><p></p><p>An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners.</p><p></p><p>She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.</p><p></p><p>"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.</p><p></p><p>"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."</p><p></p><p>There was a debauched little wench</p><p>that nothing could ever make her flinch.</p><p>She admitted men's poles,</p><p>At all possible holes,</p><p>And she'd bugger, fuck, jerk off, and french. </p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"> A RESIGNATION LETTER</span></p><p></p><p>Dear Sir, </p><p></p><p>This will confirm my fucking resignation </p><p>With your fucked up company. I have accepted </p><p>A lucrative position with a company where </p><p>Being a perverted bastard is not a job </p><p>Prerequisite for managerial skills. </p><p></p><p>I am looking forward to my new position and </p><p>The challenges that await me, unlike when I </p><p>Worked with you assholes. </p><p></p><p>My last day of work will be when you realize I </p><p>Came in late last night and cleaned out my desk, </p><p>Including all the supplies I requested and received </p><p>Last week. </p><p></p><p>Hopefully, your dumb ass can figure out all the </p><p>Shit I've left undone for the new team, as well </p><p>As the ongoing projects I never completed. </p><p></p><p>Once the company figures out that you don't know a </p><p>Damn thing, they will not only fire my replacement, </p><p>But your ass as well. </p><p></p><p>Please feel free not to say a damn thing to me</p><p>should </p><p>You see me on the street, unless you want your ass</p><p>kicked. </p><p></p><p>My experience with this fucking company has been</p><p>very </p><p>Unrewarding. I was only rewarded by your secretary. </p><p>She is a good fucker. She screwed me on your desk</p><p>when </p><p>You were away. She told me that you screwed her</p><p>every </p><p>Time she appealed for salary increment. She enjoyed</p><p>sex </p><p>With me but not with a corpse like you. In short,</p><p>you are </p><p>Not only a fucker but a poor fucker. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I appreciate having had the opportunity to</p><p>use </p><p>You as a stepping stone to a better future. </p><p></p><p>I wish you and the organization not a fucking thing,</p><p></p><p>Bitch-ass mother fuckers. </p><p></p><p>Yours sincerely,</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064469334, member: 14320"] [COLOR="Blue"][B]Poor Daddy[/B][/COLOR] One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores." A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig. When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!" Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?" An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise." There was a debauched little wench that nothing could ever make her flinch. She admitted men's poles, At all possible holes, And she'd bugger, fuck, jerk off, and french. [COLOR="Blue"] A RESIGNATION LETTER[/COLOR] Dear Sir, This will confirm my fucking resignation With your fucked up company. I have accepted A lucrative position with a company where Being a perverted bastard is not a job Prerequisite for managerial skills. I am looking forward to my new position and The challenges that await me, unlike when I Worked with you assholes. My last day of work will be when you realize I Came in late last night and cleaned out my desk, Including all the supplies I requested and received Last week. Hopefully, your dumb ass can figure out all the Shit I've left undone for the new team, as well As the ongoing projects I never completed. Once the company figures out that you don't know a Damn thing, they will not only fire my replacement, But your ass as well. Please feel free not to say a damn thing to me should You see me on the street, unless you want your ass kicked. My experience with this fucking company has been very Unrewarding. I was only rewarded by your secretary. She is a good fucker. She screwed me on your desk when You were away. She told me that you screwed her every Time she appealed for salary increment. She enjoyed sex With me but not with a corpse like you. In short, you are Not only a fucker but a poor fucker. Anyway, I appreciate having had the opportunity to use You as a stepping stone to a better future. I wish you and the organization not a fucking thing, Bitch-ass mother fuckers. Yours sincerely, [/QUOTE]
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