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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064403892" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little Brother Or Little SisterA little boy wakes up one night and walks into his parent’s bedroomwhile they're making love;the mother rises up in surprise and says "Oh honey you go back to bed now."And the little boy says "but I want to sleep with you tonight."The mother says,"No honey not tonight, you know that little brother or little sister you've always wanted?"The little boy say's "Yeah"The mother replies "well your daddy and I are making that for youand it'll be here in about 9 months, so you go back to bed now."The little boys say, "Oh Boy, O.K. I'll go back to bed.So the next day the father pulls up into the drivewayand sees the little boy sitting on the front porch just balling his eyes out.The father jumps out of the car and runs over to the little boy and asks,"What in the world is the matter son?"The little boy replies with sniffles and tears streaming down his face"Daddy you know that little brother or sisteryou and mommy were making for me last night?'The father replies "Yes son"The son screams "Well The Milkman Came and Ate It Up This Morning!!!"_______A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his armswhen a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with thechimp. "I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children;so he's going to live with us - just like one of the family.He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in thesame bed with me and my wife.""But what about the smell?" the friend asked."Oh, he'll just have to get useed to it, the same way I did.The Indian With One TesticleThere once was an Indian who had only one testicleand whose given name was ‘Onestone’. He hated thatname and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.After years and years of torment, Onestone finallycracked and said,’ If anyone calls me Onestoneagain I will kill them!’The word got around and nobody calledhim that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Birdforgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’ Hejumped up, grabbed her and took her deep intothe forest where he made love to her all day andall night. He made love to her all the next day,until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.The word got around that Onestone meant whathe promised he would do. Years went by and noone dared call him by his given name until A womannamed Yellow Bird returned to the village after beingaway. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird’s cousin, wasoverjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged himand said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,then he made love to her all day, made love to her allnight, made love to her all the next day, made love toher all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn’t die!Why ???OH, come on…. take a guess !!!Think about it !!!You’re going to love this !!!Everyone knows…You can’t kill Two Birdswith OneStone!!!_______A hot girl walks into the "women doctors" office and sits down. The doctor knocks lightly and then comes in. He sees that the woman is extremely hot. He walks up and wastes no time, he slides his hands up her shirt and starts caressing her boobs and says, "do you know what I’m doing. " she says "yes! You are feeling for cancer right?" he says, "yeah, o yeah." After that he starts taking off the woman’s pants and starts massaging her thighs and says, "do you know what I’m doing now?" she thinks and says "yes! You are feeling for cancer right?" he says a yeah that’s it, feeling for cancer. After that he pulls off his pants gets on top of her and says "do you know what I’m doing now?" she says "O DOC yes I do your getting genital warts and that’s why I came here!!!!!!!!!!! Sex PillDoctor, you've gotta help me... my wife Sharon just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?""Look, Charlie, I can't prescribe...""Doctor, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset?I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me."The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills."Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, but the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give Sharon more thanONE, understand?... JUST one.""One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?""Um... okay."Charlie expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where Sharon has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, Sharon goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. Charlie , in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into Sharon's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The Doc did say they were powerful.Then an inspiration strikes: Charlie drops one pill into his own coffee.Sharon returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and coffee, our Charlie with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, Sharon shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes. In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice Charlie has never heard Sharon use before, she says, "I... need... a man..!!!"Charlie eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me... too..!!!.Little JohnnyThe third-grade teacher was teachingEnglish and repeated for her class:"Mary had a little lamb,whose fleece was white as snowAnd everywhere that Mary went,the lamb was sure to go."She explained this was an example ofpoetry, but could be changed to proseby changing the last line from "thelamb was sure to go" to "the lambwent with her."A few days later, she asked for anexample of poetry or prose. Johnnyraised his hand and said,"Mary had a little pig --An scrawny little runt.He stuck his nose in Mary's ClothesAnd smelled her little . . ."He stopped, turned to the teacher, andasked, "Do you want poetry or prose?""Prose!" the teacher said weakly.So Johnny said, " . . . Asshole."______A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat.Little Mary has the first attempt and answers, "By fur, Miss?"The teacher replies, "Not quite right, Mary, but a good try."Meanwhile all during the lesson, Little Johnny is sitting down the back raising his hand in the air saying, "Me, Miss!" "Me, Miss!"The next student the teacher's picks is Peter, and he answers "Is it attached by skin, Miss?"The teacher replies... "Not quite right either, Peter... Anyone else want to try?"Finally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She said to Johnny, "What do you think the tail is attached by?"Johnny replied, "Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat... I'd say, it would have to be bolted on!"</blockquote>

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