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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064366547" data-attributes="member: 14320">Inventions by BlondesThe water-proof towelGlow in the dark sunglassesSolar powered flashlightsSubmarine screen doorsA book on how to readInflatable dart boardsA dictionary indexMechanical Pencil sharpenerPowdered waterPedal-powered wheel chairsWaterproof tea bagsWatermelon seed sorterZero proof alcoholReusable ice cubesSee-through toilet tissueSkinless bananasDo-it-yourself road mapTurnip ice creamToe implantsAn all white flagRolls Royce pickup truckMickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "Ididn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"Did you know... Captain Hook died from jock itch! A little girl is taking a shower with her grandmother. She looks down between her grandmother's legs and says, "Grandma, what's that?""That's my beaver."A few days later the little girl is showering with her mother. She points between her mother's legs and says, "Mommy, I know what that is. That's your beaver!""That's right," says the mother. "How did you know?""Grandma told me," says the girl, "but I think her beaver's dead -- its tongue was hanging out."Q. What's green and melts in your mouth.A. A leper's cock!Q. What's blue and doesn't fit?A. A dead epileptic.Q. What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss?A. A kidney dialysis machine!Q. What's the first thing a women released from a battered women'sshelter should do?A. The dishes, if she's smart.Q. How do you cook vegetables in the microwave ?A. Take them out of their wheelchair.Q. What's sicker than sick?A. Masturbating with your grandma's ashes under your foreskin....A man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let Have a look". "Fuck me!!" says the doctor " what could have made a hole as big as that?"The patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant".The doctor says "An elephant's penis is long and thin, this hole is enormous".The patient replies "He fingered me first".The Princess And The FrogOnce upon a time a beautiful independent self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with mum, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so". That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed to herself and thought :"I don't fucking think so".Yo mama so slutty, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone sticks their meat in her.Yo mama so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp.Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit !!Yo momma is like a bottle of ketchup, she gets turned around, banged, and then she comes out slow.Your mother is like a doorknob.... everyone gets a turn!Your mom is like a race car driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day.Seventeen year old Marty came home and announced that he'd gotten laid for the first time.Shocked, his mother slapped him and sent him to his room.When his father got home and heard the news, he dutifully went to see his son.Secretly pleased, he said "Well, Marty, I hope you learned something from this.""Yes, I did, dad." Marty replied. "Next time I won't tell mom, and I'll use Vaseline.My butt is killing me!" The Cock And Hens The priest in a small village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.But one Saturday night the cock went missing!The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"All the men stood up."No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up."No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"Half the women stood up."No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.A local Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they put him in a Jewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, the family went to visit grandpa."Pa-Pa...how do you like it here...?" asked the grandson."It's wonderful...! Everyone here is very courteous and respectful,""We all are so very happy for you. We were worried that this was not a good place for you....."Grandpa smiled, then said, "Let me tell you something about the way they treat the residents here....there's an old musician here -- he's 85-years old.....he hasn't played the fiddle in over 20 years and everyone still calls him 'The Maestro'....!There's an old physician here too -- he's 90 years old. He hasn't practiced medicine for over 25 years and everybody still calls him 'Doc'......And for me.................., I haven't had sex for over 30 years and they still call me........."The Fucking Mexican"</blockquote>

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DIY Persona : Rear Wheel Bearing

Jack up ur car
Remove wheel...

Oh my god!

Wow, if only I had the money- very very impressive R34.

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/87466.htm

Hv a Look here n help me plz

anyones know where to get the relay for the meter?

if no relay....the meter no light la...my fren drop d relay so now meter no light...

where to buy?