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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064362033" data-attributes="member: 14320">A woman goes into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne.She takes the first glass and pours the champagne down theback of her skirt. The bartender looks amazed as she pours another glassand again tips it down her skirt back.Finally, the bartender asks, "Why are you pouring your drinks down yourskirt?""Well," the woman replies, "I've just won the lottery and this is theonly asshole I'm sharing it with."__________Q: Why were lesbians created?A: So feminists couldn't reproduce!Q: Why did god give women nipples?A: To make suckers out of men.Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."Q: Why do gay men have mustaches?A: To hide the stretch marks.Q: Why haven't they cremated Colonel Sanders yet?A: They can't decide whether to do him regular or crispy.Q: What did the wife do when she found out her husband wasgay?A: She turned around and took it like a man.Q: What's the difference between a boxer and a woman?A: A boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman liesdown to get knocked up.Old Man And Old WomanAn old man and an old woman are both in an old folks home and have not had sex in almost thirty years, they both quite fancy each other, and decide to have sex with one another.The old man tells the old lady there is a day trip to Blackpool for the old folks on Wednesday, he suggests they should stay behind so they can get it on while the others are away.When Wednesday comes round all the old folks leave on a bus and the old man makes his way round to the old ladies room.As he enters the room he finds the old woman naked on the bed with her legs spread, the man races in to perform some well-needed cunnilingus on the woman.After about 10 seconds the old man raises his head and tells the old woman he can't carry on as the smell is too bad.The old woman slightly embarrassed by this and says "I'm sorry, the smell must be down to my Arthritis""Arthritis?" says the old man "How can arthritis cause such a bad smell?""It's my shoulders" says the old woman "I can't wipe my arse properly".Squirrel Bait meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it."They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter.He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."She says, "Thank you."He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"She says, "Go ahead."He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"She says, "Of course."He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire. "Blonde Work Crew"Two blonde girls were working for the Timaru District Council Parks Department. One would dig a hole and the other girl would follow behind her and fill the hole in.They worked up one side of the street, then down the other side, before moving on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling the hole in again, then moving on.An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but had absolutely no idea what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, I'm impressed by all the hard effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig the holes, only to have your partner follow behind you and fill it up again?The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, Well, I suppose it looks odd because we are normally a three person team but the girl who plants the trees called in sick today.<>*<>*<>*<>*<>"Blonde Tattoo"A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh. Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.She responds, "It is really cool. If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean."The Pretty GirlA man walks into a bar and winks at a pretty girl at the other end "bartender", he says, "I'd like to buy that lady a drink.""Don't do it," the bartender says, "She's a lesbian.""You're crazy," he said, "She's beautiful and she winked back."So the bartender gives her the drink. A minute later she moves down and thanks the gentleman."Bartender," he says, "Give the lady another drink." "I'm warning you," the bartender says as he hands her the drink.After she finishes this drink she asks if he would like to see her breast. "YES!!!" he says and the woman lifts her blouse.After the next drink, and another warning from the bartender, she takes his hand and asks, "Would you like to touch my ass?"The gentleman replies "OH, YES!!!, DEFINITELY!!!" So he sits with his hand on her bottom and asks for another drink.The bartender, thoroughly impressed by now and convinced he was wrong in his judgement obliges.After this she asks " Are you ready to taste a hot, wet, sweet pussy?""THANK YOU GOD!!!", the man exclaims, and then "YES!!!!!!!"At this the attractive lady grabs him by his tie pulls him close, kisses him and says, "Hope you enjoyed!"________Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school.Billy looked down the street and saw a bright red Corvette."Some day I'm gonna be a lawyer so I can buy me one of those Corvettes," he said.Robbie looked over at the driveway next to the Corvette and saw a brand new Ferrari."I'm gonna be a doctor," he said, "so I can get me a fast Ferrari."Little Johnny looked over at the other two and replied, "I'm gonna learn how to suck dick when I grow up."The other two jaws dropped."That's what my sister does, and she owns both of those cars," explained Little Johnny________Jill, a rather young miss attending St. Mary's Catholic Girls School, was sitting on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette.The local priest, walks by and gives her a glare."Jill! Smoking at such a young age! Aren't you ashamed?""What?" said Jill. "You got something better to do after sex?"</blockquote>

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Evo 8/9 spoiler and eye lid for lancer

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DIY: Exhaust Fire

anyone knows how to do this?

can we just source for a used ignition coil from the scrap yard and connect it to a 12V?

http://img437.imageshack.us/img437/1270/dsc003864eg.jpg

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