Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064350822" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">An Indian Boy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on</p><p>his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?"</p><p>She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."</p><p>Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"</p><p>She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made</p><p>her."</p><p>"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"</p><p>The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while she was</p><p>conceived."</p><p>Mother Indian paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are</p><p>you so curious?"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">------</span></strong></p><p>Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding.</p><p>"I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."</p><p>His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that."</p><p>"All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel.</p><p>You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if</p><p>she laughs and says, 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!'</p><p>you hit her with the shovel!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">------</span></strong></p><p>A woman was walking down the street when she was stopped</p><p>by a man who was carrying out a survey.</p><p>"Excuse me, Madam, we're doing a survey on peoples' attitudes towards sex."</p><p>"Really!" said the woman smiling.</p><p>"Could you please tell me what you think of sex on the television?"</p><p>..."Well," replied the woman, "I think it's extremely uncomfortable,</p><p>especially when you've got a vase stuck up your ass"!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A Man Named Jacques</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named</p><p>Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up</p><p>some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual</p><p>desires. He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and</p><p>brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent</p><p>the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police</p><p>and Jacques was arrested.</p><p></p><p>On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of</p><p>the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the</p><p>judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin</p><p>my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room,</p><p>BOOM-BOOM,</p><p>give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!"</p><p></p><p>"Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a</p><p>lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape.You</p><p>must have her consent!"</p><p></p><p>After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at</p><p>the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her</p><p>cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent</p><p>everywhere!!!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.</p><p>For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.</p><p></p><p>When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.</p><p>When the National Anthem began, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"</p><p>... The patients complied by standing up.</p><p></p><p>After the anthem, the doctor yelled, "Down nuts!" so the patients all sat back down in their seats.</p><p></p><p>During the game, one of the players hit a home run. The doctor yelled, "Cheer nuts!" so the patients all broke out into applause and cheers.</p><p></p><p>Considering things were going very well, the doctor decided to leave his patients momentarily and get some munchies and a beer.</p><p></p><p>When the returned to his seat, there was a riot in progress.</p><p>"What happened?" he asked a fellow patron sitting next to his group.</p><p></p><p>The fellow replies, "Well... everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled "Peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">No Speakah De English</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and</p><p>engage in an animated conversation.</p><p></p><p>The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,</p><p>but her attention is galvanized when she hears one</p><p>of them say the following:</p><p></p><p>"Emma come first.</p><p>Den I come.</p><p>Den two asses come together.</p><p>I come once-a-more!</p><p>Two asses, they come together again.</p><p>I come again and pee twice.</p><p>Then I come one lasta time."</p><p></p><p>The lady can't take this any more,</p><p>"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,"</p><p>she retorted indignantly.</p><p>"In this country we don't speak aloud in</p><p>public places about our sex lives.</p><p></p><p>"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.</p><p>"Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda</p><p>how to spell 'Mississippi'."</p><p>$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!</p><p></p><p>Send cash !</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>4 blondes walk into an apartment building.</p><p>You'da thought that one of them would have seen it.</p><p></p><p>How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?</p><p>By the lipstick on the cucumbers.</p><p></p><p>Know what to call the stuff that collects in the crotch of a woman's panties?</p><p>Clitty litter.</p><p></p><p>What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?</p><p>An armadildo.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Johnny and Tommy where hot one summers day.</p><p>The boys decided to go swimming. They went to the public pool.</p><p>Soon the lifeguard calls them over. She says, "I've been watching you two. You will have to leave now. "But why?"</p><p>"For peeing in the pool."</p><p>"Well, but everyone does that." the boys replied in unison.</p><p>"Not from the diving board, they don't!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> Who is Jack Schitt? </span></strong></p><p></p><p>Th<strong><em><span style="color: Teal">e Lineage Revealed.</span></em></strong></p><p></p><p>Many people are at a loss for a response when someone</p><p>says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle</p><p>the situation.</p><p></p><p>Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe</p><p>Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the</p><p>owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.</p><p></p><p>In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply</p><p>religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The</p><p>twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva</p><p>Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.</p><p></p><p>After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced.</p><p>Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids</p><p>were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous</p><p>name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.</p><p></p><p>Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a</p><p>cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva</p><p>Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and</p><p>consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual</p><p>ceremony.</p><p></p><p>The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse.</p><p>Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the</p><p>world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa</p><p>Schitt.</p><p></p><p>Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you</p><p>can correct them.</p><p></p><p>This guy comes home dead tired from working a twelve-hour</p><p>day and collapses in bed.</p><p>He's just about asleep when his wife rolls over and says,</p><p>"What would you do if I told you that you had a beautiful,</p><p>sexy, horny woman lying next to you?"</p><p>He replied. "Don't worry honey I'd stay faithful!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064350822, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]An Indian Boy[/COLOR][/B] This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?" She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her." "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?" The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived." Mother Indian paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?" [B][COLOR="Red"]------[/COLOR][/B] Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding. "I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not." His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that." "All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says, 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!" [B][COLOR="Red"]------[/COLOR][/B] A woman was walking down the street when she was stopped by a man who was carrying out a survey. "Excuse me, Madam, we're doing a survey on peoples' attitudes towards sex." "Really!" said the woman smiling. "Could you please tell me what you think of sex on the television?" ..."Well," replied the woman, "I think it's extremely uncomfortable, especially when you've got a vase stuck up your ass"! [B][COLOR="Teal"]A Man Named Jacques[/COLOR][/B] One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual desires. He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police and Jacques was arrested. On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room, BOOM-BOOM, give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!" "Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape.You must have her consent!" After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent everywhere!!! A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. When the National Anthem began, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" ... The patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, the doctor yelled, "Down nuts!" so the patients all sat back down in their seats. During the game, one of the players hit a home run. The doctor yelled, "Cheer nuts!" so the patients all broke out into applause and cheers. Considering things were going very well, the doctor decided to leave his patients momentarily and get some munchies and a beer. When the returned to his seat, there was a riot in progress. "What happened?" he asked a fellow patron sitting next to his group. The fellow replies, "Well... everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled "Peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts!" [B][COLOR="Teal"] No Speakah De English[/COLOR][/B] A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives. "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'." $5.00 says you're gonna read this again! Send cash ! 4 blondes walk into an apartment building. You'da thought that one of them would have seen it. How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? By the lipstick on the cucumbers. Know what to call the stuff that collects in the crotch of a woman's panties? Clitty litter. What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater? An armadildo. Johnny and Tommy where hot one summers day. The boys decided to go swimming. They went to the public pool. Soon the lifeguard calls them over. She says, "I've been watching you two. You will have to leave now. "But why?" "For peeing in the pool." "Well, but everyone does that." the boys replied in unison. "Not from the diving board, they don't!" [B][COLOR="Teal"] Who is Jack Schitt? [/COLOR][/B] Th[B][I][COLOR="Teal"]e Lineage Revealed.[/COLOR][/I][/B] Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them. This guy comes home dead tired from working a twelve-hour day and collapses in bed. He's just about asleep when his wife rolls over and says, "What would you do if I told you that you had a beautiful, sexy, horny woman lying next to you?" He replied. "Don't worry honey I'd stay faithful!" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
HONDA CIVIC FL5 TYPE R 2.0 (M) 2025
Started by
rickyteoh2288
Cars for sale
TOYOTA GR YARIS 1.6 (M) 2025 RZ High Performance
Started by
rickyteoh2288
Cars for sale
HONDA CIVIC FL5 MUGEN PART 2024
Started by
rickyteoh2288
Cars for sale
original rare Enkei ES Tarmac 15x7jj offset +35 4H...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing SE37 17x7.5jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Yokohama ADVAN Racing TC4 18x8.5...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing ZE40 17x9jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing INGS TS06 18x8jj...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
Started by
david tao
Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
The Millens get ready for Pikes Peak w/video
https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/millen-600x375.jpg
Preprarations for Pikes Peak is hitting top gear as the Dacia team and Paul Dallenbach have shown. One of the other big names in the...
Smart and Extreme 350z's - Must SEE!
Very nicely done...though the red one's GT wing looks like can be used to hang clothes...but nice...done by...
www.nitro.com.my
YOU are invited
Dear : old and new frens,
Hi... Lam here (after missing in action for so long), just came back from overseas and stay put here. Anyway I would like to invite you guys to my new Handphone Accessories Shop on...
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
