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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064328185" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Powerfully-Built Guy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]]</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Really Gross!!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Jack Horner</p><p>Sat in the corner,</p><p>Playing with Grandma's twat.</p><p>He stuck in his pinky,</p><p>Pulled it out stinky</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant.</p><p>This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has</p><p>any questions.</p><p></p><p>She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How</p><p>much will childbirth hurt?"</p><p></p><p>The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman</p><p>and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to</p><p>describe pain."</p><p></p><p>"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.</p><p></p><p>"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."</p><p></p><p>"Like this?"</p><p></p><p>"A little more..."</p><p></p><p>"Like this?"</p><p></p><p>"Yes. Does that hurt?"</p><p></p><p>"A little bit."</p><p></p><p>"Now stretch it over your head!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Gynecologist</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the</p><p>stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: You're</p><p>nervous, aren't you?</p><p>Yes, it's my first visit to a gynecologist.</p><p>Would you like me to numb you down there?</p><p>Oh, yes please.</p><p>He sticks his face between her legs and goes Num, num, num .</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">CONFUCIUS SAY:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring.</p><p></p><p>Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.</p><p></p><p>Sex on beach is like American beer - very near water.</p><p></p><p>Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.</p><p></p><p>Man who buy drowned cat, must pay for stinking wet pussy.</p><p></p><p>Girl who is wallflower at party, may be dandelion in bed.</p><p></p><p>Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants</p><p>Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told</p><p>her she couldn't make love. I've known this for years I want to know how</p><p>he found out!</p><p></p><p></p><p>It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without</p><p>her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for</p><p>herself. The next day her mother called to see how everything went.</p><p>Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble</p><p>trying to eat the turkey said the daughter.</p><p>Did it not taste good her mother asked.</p><p>I don't know,the blonde said. It wouldn't sit still!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064328185, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Powerfully-Built Guy[/COLOR][/B] A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!" [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]]][/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Really Gross!![/COLOR][/B] Little Jack Horner Sat in the corner, Playing with Grandma's twat. He stuck in his pinky, Pulled it out stinky [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]]][/COLOR][/B] A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!" [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Gynecologist[/COLOR][/B] A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: You're nervous, aren't you? Yes, it's my first visit to a gynecologist. Would you like me to numb you down there? Oh, yes please. He sticks his face between her legs and goes Num, num, num . [B][COLOR="Teal"]CONFUCIUS SAY:[/COLOR][/B] Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring. Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter. Sex on beach is like American beer - very near water. Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock. Man who buy drowned cat, must pay for stinking wet pussy. Girl who is wallflower at party, may be dandelion in bed. Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told her she couldn't make love. I've known this for years I want to know how he found out! It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself. The next day her mother called to see how everything went. Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey said the daughter. Did it not taste good her mother asked. I don't know,the blonde said. It wouldn't sit still! [/QUOTE]
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