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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064325075" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Front DoorThis boy just takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?""What? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem.""No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor...""At this time of the night no one will show up.""I've already said NO, and NO!""Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.""NO!!! I've said NO!!!""My love.. don't be like that.."At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her night gown with hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says."Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will comedown and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake to tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!" Statistical Findings:10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place36% of the women favor nudity45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes46% of the women experienced anal sex70% of the women prefer sex in the morning80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.Conclusion: Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day. Moral: Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!Jack And MabelOnce upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack.Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer,the farmer's wife and their daughter Mabel.One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabelbending over to milk the cow. He felt himself become aroused for thefirst time and, shocked, ran to find the farmer to explain thisstrange phenomena. Upon finding the farmer he proceeded to drop histrousers and whip out his stiff trouser snake much to the horror of the farmer."Farmer, farmer," Jack cried, "what is happening to my penis?""Now settle down and put that thing away." said the farmer."Don't worry about it. It happens to all men.""But I don't like it!" cried Jack."Well then," said the farmer, "next time it happens just go into themilk shed, get some cow shit and rub it on your dick.It'll go down quick smart, trust me."The next day Jack was passing by the house when he looked in and sawthe farmers' wife having a shower. Feeling his member getting hard herushed into the cow shed, dropped his pants and picked up two handfulsof shit. Just then Mabel walked into the shed."What are you doing Jack?" asked Mabel. "Well," Jack replied,"I'm gonna rub this shit on my dick to make it go down.""That would be a waste." Mabel said as she laid down on the ground andlifted her skirt. "Why don't you stick it up here?"So he did.Both handfuls!!!!!There once was a girl from Azores,Whose cunt was all covered in sores,the men who got pussed,were desperate for lust,and licked up what was left in her drawers.There was a young lady from BrewsterWho's ass was so nice that I goosed her,But her panties were thinAnd my finger slipped inAnd it still just don't smell like it used ter.L A MathLOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAMNAME GANG/CREW NAME________ ___ CRIB.1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip.He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots andHe uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting.How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attemptBefore he has to reload?2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for$85 per gram, what is the street value of the restOf his hold?3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick,How many tricks per day must each ho turn to supportRufus's $800 per day crack habit?4. Dave wants to cut the pound of cocaine he boughtFor $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bagsWill he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 forStealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4.If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's,How many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?6. Tom got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000For the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100Of his hit money per month, how much money willBe left when he gets out?17. If an average can of spray paint covers 22Square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet,How many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounceCans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang.There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exactPercentage of girls Tyrone knockup?9. LaSheena is a lookout for the gang. LaSheena alsoHas a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per weekAt a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 weekAs a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa onOne week's income?10. Marvin steals Joe's skate board. As Marvin skatesAway at 15 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takesJoe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away willMarvin be when he gets whacked?</blockquote>

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