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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064312529" data-attributes="member: 14320">Two DrunksOne day two drunks are sitting in a bar drinking. One drunk notices asign saying, "Lady in the back."Being curious, they called the bartender over and asked what itmeant. The bartender says, "Well, there is a lady in the back that will satisfyall your requests for only $20.00 and the answer to a riddle."One of the drunks, thinking how cheap and easy it should be, gives thebartender a twenty and heads for the back.Laying on the bed is a beautiful and voluptuous red head. The drunksays,"I paid my twenty so what is the riddle?"The red head says, "If my pussy was to sail out to sea, how would youbring my pussy back to me?"The drunk thinks for a minute and then answers, "I don't know. How'dthe damn cat get out there?"The red head laughs and says, "Go on, you didn't answer the riddle."The drunk, pissed off and embarrassed, sits down by his buddy. Thebuddy is anxiously waiting to hear what happened and asks, "Well, how goodwas it?"Feeling very embarrassed, the drunk answers, " I couldn't answer thisdamn riddle about some f****** cat."So the second drunk says, "Well, this I've got to try." He calls thebartender over and throws him a twenty while heading for the backroom.There lies the beautiful and voluptuous red head, all spread out andsmiling. She proceeds to say, "If my pussy was to sail out to sea, howwould you bring my pussy back to me?"The second drunk answers, "Well, I don't know. Don't you think thedamn cat is dead by now?"She laughs and says, "Go on, you didn't answer the riddle."Now the drunks are pissed, frustrated, and out forty dollars. Whilecomplaining to the bartender, in walks this huge sailor with hisduffle bag. He walks up to the bartender, throws a twenty down andsays, "Where is the room?" The bartender stands back and just points the way forthe sailor.The sailor opens the door and says, "Okay, let's hear it."The voluptuous red head, with eyes open wide, sits up and says, "If mypussy was to sail out to sea, how would you bring my pussy back tome?"The sailor, taking his duffle bag and throwing it on the floor says:"Well, with this bag I'll make a boat,And with my balls, I'll make it float.With my dick, I'll make and oar,And row your pussy back to shore."********A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.He says, "What's your name?"She says, "Carmen."He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"She says, "No, I named myself."He says, "Why Carmen?"She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"He says, "Beerfuck."ChampagneA Texan enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices agorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone.He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of... champagne to be sent over to her-knowing that if she accepts it,she is his.The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl,saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne anddecides to send a note with the bottle back over to the Texan.The note read: "For me to accept this bottle,you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1M in the bank,and 7 inches in your pants."WELL, the Texan, after reading this note, sends one of his own back toher and it read:"Just so you know-I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage,I have over $2M in the bank, but not even for YOU,would I cut off 2 inches! Sorry, honey."___________I bought a racehorse today.""Oh, really? What is the horse's name, gender, timing, and what are you going to do with him??"I've decided to call him 'My Face.' He is male, runs a mile in just under a minute. I don't care if he doesn't win a race or if he makes me any money.""Then why'n the hell did ya buy him??I just want to hear thousands of those uppity posh bitches at the race course shouting: 'Come on, My Face!'GOD I'd love to hear that!"</blockquote>

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