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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064311853" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">9 Things I Hate About Everyone</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....</p><p>I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?</p><p>Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?</p><p></p><p>2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire</p><p>room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change</p><p>the channel manually.</p><p></p><p>3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".</p><p>Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?</p><p></p><p>4. When people say "it's always the last place you look".</p><p>Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?</p><p>Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!</p><p></p><p>5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".</p><p>No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.</p><p></p><p>6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"....</p><p>Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?</p><p></p><p>7. When something is 'new and improved!'.</p><p>Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,</p><p>then there must have been something before it.</p><p></p><p>8. When people say "life is short".</p><p>What the hell?? Life is the longest</p><p>damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?</p><p></p><p>9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone ! asks "Has the bus</p><p>come yet?".</p><p>If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass? </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">How To Keep A Woman Happy...</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Oh what a man must go through.............</p><p>How to make a woman happy?</p><p>It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:</p><p></p><p>1. a friend</p><p>2. a companion</p><p>3. a lover</p><p>4. a brother</p><p>5. a father</p><p>6. a master</p><p>7. a chef</p><p>8. an electrician</p><p>9. a carpenter</p><p>10. a plumber</p><p>11. a mechanic</p><p>12. a decorator</p><p>13. a stylist</p><p>14. a sexologist</p><p>15. a gynecologist</p><p>16. a psychologist</p><p>17. a pest exterminator</p><p>18. a psychiatrist</p><p>19. a healer</p><p>20. a good listener</p><p>21. an organizer</p><p>22. a good father</p><p>23. very clean</p><p>24. sympathetic</p><p>25. athletic</p><p>26. warm</p><p>27. attentive</p><p>28. gallant</p><p>29. intelligent</p><p>30. funny</p><p>31. creative</p><p>32. tender</p><p>33. strong</p><p>34. understanding</p><p>35. tolerant</p><p>36. prudent</p><p>37. ambitious</p><p>38. capable</p><p>39. courageous</p><p>40. determined</p><p>41. true</p><p>42. dependable</p><p>43. passionate</p><p></p><p>WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:</p><p>44. give her compliments regularly</p><p>45. love shopping</p><p>46. be honest (white lies okay)</p><p>47. be very rich</p><p>48. not stress her out</p><p>49. not look at other girls</p><p>50, keep the heat up</p><p></p><p>AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:</p><p>51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself</p><p>52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself</p><p>53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes</p><p></p><p>IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:</p><p>54. to never forget:</p><p></p><p>* birthdays</p><p>* anniversaries</p><p>* arrangements she makes</p><p></p><p>1. Feed him</p><p>2. Fuck him</p><p>3. and Shut the fuck up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064311853, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]9 Things I Hate About Everyone[/COLOR][/B] 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone ! asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass? [B][COLOR="Teal"]How To Keep A Woman Happy...[/COLOR][/B] Oh what a man must go through............. How to make a woman happy? It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 44. give her compliments regularly 45. love shopping 46. be honest (white lies okay) 47. be very rich 48. not stress her out 49. not look at other girls 50, keep the heat up AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. to never forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes 1. Feed him 2. Fuck him 3. and Shut the fuck up. [/QUOTE]
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