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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064304989" data-attributes="member: 14320">TaxidermistA guy walks into a bar in Oklahoma and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"_______________Q: What is the definition of "making love"?A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.*What is the definition of suspicious?A nun doing pushups in a cucumber patch*Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV.When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"*Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.*Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.*Steph was telling her boyfriend, Jeff "According to archaeologists, for millions of years the Neanderthal man was not fully erect."And Jeff's reply was, that's pretty easy to understand considering how ugly the Neanderthal women were!*Supposedly I was created in god's image. I don't know...you'd think god would have a bigger penis than this. Greek StyleA man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar.He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her.They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, "You're really hot!"You're pretty cute, too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what. I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?"It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies."Before we go up there though", the woman says, "I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?""Well...uh...I'm not exactly sure what that is, man answers, "but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"So the two of them walk over to her apartment.As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can't believe his eyes. The woman has an incredibly beautiful body."Now, you're *sure*," the woman asks, "that you want to do it Greek style?""Definitely!" the man replies."All right, then," says the woman. "Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees.""Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man.She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?""Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can't move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest. One more time she says, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts."Yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice, and she yells out, "GUS!"__________Q: What happens when a whore house catches fire?A: Some come out running and some run out coming!Q: What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?A: A conga in an old people's home!Scientists have just released Viagra in the form of eye drops.Apparently it does nothing for your sex life but it makes you look really hard.</blockquote>

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