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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064304233" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little Johnny SmokingA guy is walking down the street and seesLittle Johnny smoking a cigarette.He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke."Johnny looks up but doesn't say anything....The man asks, "Son, how old are you?"Little Johnny says, "Six."Stunned, the man says, "Six!? When did you start smoking?"Johnny replies, "Right after the first time I had sex.""Right after the first time you had sex? When was that?"Little Johnny answers, "I don't remember. I was drunk."Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh, no! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you've been calling me fat!" "Oh, no! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his pecker!" "Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his pecker!A redneck was standing at a bar. A beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says, "You remind me of my little toe!" She giggles and replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?" "No," he says, "I mean I 'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk!"There once was a lady from WoosterWho dreamt that a man had seduced herShe awoke with a screamTo find was a dreamAnd a bump in the mattress had goosed her.~~~~~There was a young lady named MandelWho caused quite a neighborhood scandalBy coming out bareOn the main village squareAnd massaging herself with a candle~~~~~The once was a girl named StraightWhose pussy smelled like bait!Whenever Jeff pounds herThe room reeks of flounderHer twat, she needs to refrigerate.~~~~~Here I lie in stinky vapor,Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,Shall I lie, or shall I linger,Or shall I be forced to use my finger.~~~~~The pretty coed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual operation, the removal of a large chunk of green wax from her navel.Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician asked, "How did this happen?"Let me put it this way, doc," the girl began. "My boyfriend likes to eat by candlelight."~~~~~Two guys are talking in a bar:"I came home early last night and caught my wife having sex with my best friend in our bed!""What did you do?""I grabbed my wife by the hair and said 'that's it, you're outta here' and threw her out of the house.""What did you do to your best friend?""I shook my finger at him and yelled 'bad dog! bad dog!'"~~~~~There once was a girl from the AzuresWhose cunt was all covered in soresThe dogs in the streetUsed to eat the green meatWhich hung in festoons from her drawers~~~~~Q. What's the difference between anal sex and a microwave oven?A. A microwave oven won't brown your meat.Q. What's grosser than eating your grandmother's pussy?A. Banging your head on the coffin lid after you're done.</blockquote>

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