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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064300460" data-attributes="member: 14320">Wife:/Husband:Wife: Oh, come on.Husband: Leave me alone!Wife: It won't take long.Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.Wife: I can't sleep without it.Husband: Why do you think of things like thisin the middle of the night?Wife: Because I'm Hot.Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.Wife: You don't love me anymore.Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.Wife: (Sob-Sob)Husband: All right, I'll do it.Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?Husband: I can't find it.Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!Husband: There! Are you satisfied?Wife: Oh, yes, honey.Husband: Is it down far enough?Wife: Oh, that's fine.Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it'syour turn to get up and turn the thermostat down.Wife: Yes, honey.=======The blonde woman strode angrily into the large store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are for cats?"=======Q: How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?A: The hotdogs all taste like shit!What do you call an annexic with a yeast infection?A quarter pounder with cheese.Smoking DopeTwo young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs, and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge."And you, how did you do?"(to the 2nd boy) "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!". "Well, I used a similar approach. I drew a large and a small circle.I said, pointing to the small circle, "This is your asshole before prison..."A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.""I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.""Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed."Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&^ing blanket."After a moment of silence, he farted.</blockquote>

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