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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064295913" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Potpourri</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home ok!</p><p></p><p>Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.</p><p></p><p>After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."</p><p></p><p>"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the</p><p>pregnancy."</p><p></p><p>"No, that's not it," Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."</p><p></p><p>A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant."</p><p></p><p>He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"</p><p></p><p>She said, "I think it must have been the second coming."</p><p></p><p>The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?"</p><p></p><p>She replied, "Because I swallowed the first one..."</p><p></p><p>A friend said there was nothing worse than waking up with a sore</p><p>head and less money than you thought you had.</p><p></p><p>I said, "Could be worse, you could have a sore ass and MORE money</p><p>than you thought you had."</p><p></p><p>Mary: I ran into my ex last night.</p><p>Jill: What happened?</p><p>Mary: Nothing much.. I put it into reverse and hit him again!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your Mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles cars slow down</p></blockquote><p></p>

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