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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064289933" data-attributes="member: 14320">About Women.....Part 1Women especially love a bargain.The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out.Anything on sale is fair game.Women never have anything to wear.Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.Women think all beer is the same.Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.Women don't understand the appeal of sports.Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality.Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.Women brush their hair before bed.Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple? Erotic CorrectionSally Jo taught erotic correction.She told her student to get an erection."Put your dick in my mouth.Move it north, move it southNow, you're getting a sense of direction!"Her instructions were very explicit,and more than a little illicit:"Please fill up my cunnywith fresh clover honey,and butter my buns like a biscuit.""Then wrap me up nice in a blanket,and I'll sit on your staff while you crank it.I'll put on some feathers,and laces and leathers,and wiggle my ass while you spank it.""Now that your fingers are stinky,tie me up in some chains that are clinky.Bring in some goats and a sheik.Then give my big titties a tweakand now, we can start getting kinky!""Forget what the chain and the whip meant.Just get the straps and the slings and a shipmentof high grade Vaseline,and a strong trampoline,and all of the other equipment!""Now, when we get all the bedsprings a drummin',that's when I'll start in a hummin',then quickly, my dear,put it into my ear,so I'll hear the sound of it comin'!""I don't know how much this is costing,"said her student, still covered with frosting."But I can say with affinitythat I've lost my virginity.Quite frankly, my dear, you're exhausting!"The Russian couples sex life was terrible, so they went out and bought ablack market copy of a sex manual. A week later, the man said to thewomen, "Honey, I want to eat your pussy like it says in the book, but itsmells so bad. Why don't you go out and buy some of that femininedeodorant spray?"She agreed. An hour later, she returned, all excited. "You should seethe flavors they have," she told her husband. "Strawberry, cherry,banana ....""What did you get?" he interrupted."Tuna," she replied.</blockquote>

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