Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064286956" data-attributes="member: 14320">86 Years OldYour honor, I am 86 years old. So here I am, sitting there on porch on awarm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch andsits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, YourHonor.So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honor.Why, Your Honor, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread myold legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Son of aBitch!! *¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸, *¤º°`°º¤* ,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt."Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if ..."The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸, *¤º°`°º¤* ,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles...the salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?".He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"Safe Sex OptionsThese days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of lifeand death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe":- Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash,then buy the crack directly.- Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultantloss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.- Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergyfrom harm."- Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allowanyone to get to third base with you.- Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried andscabbed over before use.- When taking two cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equalamount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.- Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sureto ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"- Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetratingfarm animals.- You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue beforeany mouth-to-mouth contact.- To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.- If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehandto hope for the best.Little Johnny was in the bath one day with his gran."Granny, what's that?" jesturing to her ragged old front arse"That's my pussy cat darling." She replied"oh, ok then" and he left it at that.A couple of days later he was in the bath with his mum."Mummy, what's that? He asked, again pointing to her beaver."That's my pussy cat darling.""Oh, Granny has got one of them. But it looks like it has been run overas its guts are hanging out"Dear AbbyDear Abby:I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed ascarrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphiaand one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to atransvestite.My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing andselling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters,who areprostitutes in Jersey City.I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole lifesentence Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brotheris currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges ofsexual misconduct with his three children.I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute wholives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in abrothel.Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with heras the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interestedin joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitutethemselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, the heroinhabits.All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance andlook forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to betotally honest with her.So.... Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?Signed,Worried About My ReputationA sheep farmer made his monthly journey into townto buy supplies. While loading up his pickup, hespotted one of the girls who worked at thebordello watching him."Say, honey," he asked, "what's the going ratethese days?" "Hundred bucks," she replied."If every man raised sheep, we wouldn't need youwomen," he exclaimed with disgust."Yeah," she said, "and if vibrators could cut thegrass, we wouldn't need you men, either."</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
- Started by david tao
- Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Platinum Gen2E6 engine

Only want time crank,engine warm up nicely without any problem.
Nice 1st Gen2 E6 engine just finish upgrade performance Stuff.

Spec
1.Engine E6
2.Head port n polish
3.Cam HKS
4.HKS Cam pulley
5.HKS valve n spring...

Altezza Trd Absorbers

A Set Of Trd Absorbers, Front N Rear For Sale.

Pls Call For Best Price 017-2888 323. Location At Tokyo Autolink, Taman Sungai Besi.

PICS UPLOADED. PLS NOTE THAT PIC ONLY SHOWS THE FRONT ABSORBERS. THE REAR...

Wide Body Kit R33 (SUPER-GT) Style

Anyone intersted? I want to do it, but i need some volume, advise and support!
what do u guys think of this!!!