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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064270588" data-attributes="member: 14320">Special SandalsThis married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring aroundthe marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed thissmall sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaicanaccent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have somespecial sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild atsex."Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after whatthe man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, beingthe sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals makeyou into a sex freak?"The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Man. "Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got thiswild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years! Inthe blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent himviolently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his ownpants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!! YOUGOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"_________________________________My missus, back when we were young,Asked the doctor to fix her torn lung;When asked how it ripped,She replied as she stripped,"Doc, that man I just married is hung!"MIRROR, MIRRORMirror, mirror on the wall,Should I really shave my balls?If I don't, she'll surely bitch,Does she care how much I'll itch?Take the razor and lather up,(Gawd that bitch is so corrupt)Don't she care that I could slip?Shave my balls - and cut off my dick?Easy now - hands don't shake,She'll call me "Stumpy" with one mistake.Pubes in her teeth she really can't bear,If I want some head - get ridda the hair.So I shave my balls all nice and slick,Did it up nice - without one nick!"Feel 'em baby - they're so smooth!""Take off your clothes - get in the groove!"She looks at me from our little bed,"I'm sleepy, Baby - ain't givin' no head!"She rolls on over - and gives me her back,I'm so pissed off - I'm about to crack!Next day it's breakfast in the sheets,I spoon her bites which she gladly eats.And I must confess I think it's fair,That her omelet was made with pubic hair!--------Every day Little Johnny went to the park and sat on the park bench to watch the squirrels climb the tree.One day while Little Johnny was sitting on the park bench, Susie walked by and unzipped Little Johnny's fly.He went home and told his mother about it and she said, "Tell the little girl not to do that again because you have a mouse in your pants."The following day Little Johnny was sitting there and Susie did the same thing again.As his mother told him, Little Johnny exclaimed "Don't do that because I have a mouse in my pants."At that remark, Susie lifted her skirt and said, "Go get 'em Pussy.</blockquote>

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