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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064268664" data-attributes="member: 14320">One More DayA guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. The next day the doctorcalls him back to the office and says"I have some really bad newsfor you. I have checked this result with several of my colleaguesand we have come to the same result. I'm sorry to say you only haveone more day to live."The guy is shocked. He ends up in a bar forthe remainder of the day trying to decide what he should do for theremaining day of his life.He finally decides he will go home and makewild and passionate love to his wife before he leaves this earth.When the guy gets home that evening he sneaks into the bedroom and takes offall his clothes and crawls into bed.For three hours he has sex like hehas never had sex before. After he is finished he is completely exhaustedand crawls to the bathroom, completely spent.Upon opening the bathroomdoor he is surprised to see his wife in the bathroom with a mudpack overher face.He asked puzzledly "How did you get in here."His wife then says"SHHH!!! You'll wake my mother..."=======Q: What is the difference between a woman and a toilet?A: The toilet won't follow you around for three months when you're finished using it.Q: Why is a turd better than a woman?A: Because after you lay a turd you don't have to hug and kiss it.Q: What tastes good on pie but not on pussy?A: Crust.Q: Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?A: Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been colored in yet.=======There once was a man from BandooWho fell asleep in a canoeHe dreamed of VenusAnd played with his penisAnd woke up with a hand full of gooThere once was a girl named JillWho used dynamite for a thrillThey found her vaginaIn South CarolinaAnd bits of her tits in Brazil Good News And Bad News"I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says."What's the bad news?" asks the patient."The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live".The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?".The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk,"You see that blonde with the big breasts,tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?",the patient shakes his head and the doctor replies,"I'm fucking her."======="Dad, I think the vicar is a homosexual.""What makes you think that son?""Because he closes his eyes when I kiss him."=======Q: What did one homosexual's sperm say to the other?A: "How the hell are we supposed to find an egg in all this shit?"Q. What's the main difference between fucking a regular woman and fucking a woman with no arms?A. When you fuck a woman with no arms and it pops out, you're the one who has to put it back in.Q. What does 78-year-old snatch smell like?A. Depends!</blockquote>

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