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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064265242" data-attributes="member: 14320">Happy Valentine's Day To Everyone!Valentine SurpriseHearts and roses and kisses galore...What the hell is all that shit for?People get mushy and start acting queerIt is definitely the most annoying day of the year.This day needs to get the hell over with and passBefore I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's assI'll spend the day so drunk I can't speakAnd wear all black for the rest of the weekGuys act all sweet, but it soon will fadeFor all they are doing is trying to get laidThe arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hitBecause I think love is a crock of shitSo heres my story...what else can I say?Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!Redneck's Valentine's Day Poemthat'll touch your heart-Roses are red,or are they blue?Hell I don't knowbut i do like you.I love you morethan my truck's tires.Yer more useful than myold rusty pliers.You cook a good deerand fry a good egg,just wish you'd shave thathair off your legs.If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,It's okay, I'll still feel the same,I'll just keep on tellin my buddies,yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.Yer my pride and joys,What a lady!But hows come we do itonly when it's my payday?When I ran over ya with my truck,you didn't even say "ouch."And you are so cute,when you wipe your boogers under the couch.I hope we stay together,at least a couple more days-cuz i'm really horneyand I want to get laid.Happy VD!!!!!Roses are stupid,Violets are silly.Bend over Babe,'Cause here comes my willy!***roses are red, pickles are greenI love your legs and whats betweenI like your style I like your classbut most of all I like your assA guy gives his girlfriend a huge box of the finestcandy for Valentines day.She looks at him and says "You shouldn't have".He replies, "I know, but I figure what's one morebox of candy to a fat ass like yours".Happy Valentine's Day!Valentine Slogans10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!**********On Valentine's Day a drunk young man walked up toan attractive girl and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personalquestion?""Yes, but I know you're going to ask eventually anyway, solet's get it over with.""Great. How many men have you had sex with?""That's my business!" she snapped."Cool! How much?"**********On Valentines Day, Paul is walking to hisgirls house one afternoon and passes a florist shop. On a whim he buysa big bunch of flowers for her. When he gets to her house he holds theflowers out to her. Instead to taking them she slides her panties offfrom under her skirt, lays back on the couch, spreads her legs and says"This is for the flowers." Paul looks at her and says " Oh comenow, surely you have a vase around here somewhere."</blockquote>

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