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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064265242" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Happy Valentine's Day To Everyone!</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Valentine Surprise</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Hearts and roses and kisses galore...</p><p>What the hell is all that shit for?</p><p></p><p>People get mushy and start acting queer</p><p>It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.</p><p></p><p>This day needs to get the hell over with and pass</p><p>Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass</p><p></p><p>I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak</p><p>And wear all black for the rest of the week</p><p></p><p>Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade</p><p>For all they are doing is trying to get laid</p><p></p><p>The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit</p><p>Because I think love is a crock of shit</p><p></p><p>So heres my story...what else can I say?</p><p>Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Redneck's Valentine's Day Poem</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">that'll touch your heart-</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Roses are red,</p><p>or are they blue?</p><p>Hell I don't know</p><p>but i do like you.</p><p></p><p>I love you more</p><p>than my truck's tires.</p><p>Yer more useful than my</p><p>old rusty pliers.</p><p></p><p>You cook a good deer</p><p>and fry a good egg,</p><p>just wish you'd shave that</p><p>hair off your legs.</p><p></p><p>If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,</p><p>It's okay, I'll still feel the same,</p><p>I'll just keep on tellin my buddies,</p><p>yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.</p><p></p><p>Yer my pride and joys,</p><p>What a lady!</p><p>But hows come we do it</p><p>only when it's my payday?</p><p></p><p>When I ran over ya with my truck,</p><p>you didn't even say "ouch."</p><p>And you are so cute,</p><p>when you wipe your boogers under the couch.</p><p></p><p>I hope we stay together,</p><p>at least a couple more days-</p><p>cuz i'm really horney</p><p>and I want to get laid.</p><p></p><p>Happy VD!!!!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Roses are stupid,</p><p>Violets are silly.</p><p>Bend over Babe,</p><p>'Cause here comes my willy!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">***</span></strong></p><p>roses are red, pickles are green</p><p>I love your legs and whats between</p><p>I like your style I like your class</p><p>but most of all I like your ass</p><p></p><p></p><p>A guy gives his girlfriend a huge box of the finest</p><p>candy for Valentines day.</p><p></p><p>She looks at him and says "You shouldn't have".</p><p></p><p>He replies, "I know, but I figure what's one more</p><p>box of candy to a fat ass like yours".</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Happy Valentine's Day!</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Valentine Slogans</span></strong></p><p></p><p>10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.</p><p></p><p>9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.</p><p></p><p>8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.</p><p></p><p>7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.</p><p></p><p>6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.</p><p></p><p>5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!</p><p></p><p>4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.</p><p></p><p>3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".</p><p></p><p>2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!</p><p></p><p>1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">**********</span></strong></p><p>On Valentine's Day a drunk young man walked up to</p><p>an attractive girl and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal</p><p>question?"</p><p>"Yes, but I know you're going to ask eventually anyway, so</p><p>let's get it over with."</p><p>"Great. How many men have you had sex with?"</p><p>"That's my business!" she snapped.</p><p>"Cool! How much?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">**********</span></strong></p><p>On Valentines Day, Paul is walking to his</p><p>girls house one afternoon and passes a florist shop. On a whim he buys</p><p>a big bunch of flowers for her. When he gets to her house he holds the</p><p>flowers out to her. Instead to taking them she slides her panties off</p><p>from under her skirt, lays back on the couch, spreads her legs and says</p><p>"This is for the flowers." Paul looks at her and says " Oh come</p><p>now, surely you have a vase around here somewhere."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064265242, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Happy Valentine's Day To Everyone! Valentine Surprise[/COLOR][/B] Hearts and roses and kisses galore... What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer It is definitely the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over with and pass Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak And wear all black for the rest of the week Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade For all they are doing is trying to get laid The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit Because I think love is a crock of shit So heres my story...what else can I say? Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Redneck's Valentine's Day Poem that'll touch your heart-[/COLOR][/B] Roses are red, or are they blue? Hell I don't know but i do like you. I love you more than my truck's tires. Yer more useful than my old rusty pliers. You cook a good deer and fry a good egg, just wish you'd shave that hair off your legs. If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face, It's okay, I'll still feel the same, I'll just keep on tellin my buddies, yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes. Yer my pride and joys, What a lady! But hows come we do it only when it's my payday? When I ran over ya with my truck, you didn't even say "ouch." And you are so cute, when you wipe your boogers under the couch. I hope we stay together, at least a couple more days- cuz i'm really horney and I want to get laid. Happy VD!!!!! Roses are stupid, Violets are silly. Bend over Babe, 'Cause here comes my willy! [B][COLOR="Red"]***[/COLOR][/B] roses are red, pickles are green I love your legs and whats between I like your style I like your class but most of all I like your ass A guy gives his girlfriend a huge box of the finest candy for Valentines day. She looks at him and says "You shouldn't have". He replies, "I know, but I figure what's one more box of candy to a fat ass like yours". [B][COLOR="Teal"]Happy Valentine's Day! Valentine Slogans[/COLOR][/B] 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister! [B][COLOR="Red"]**********[/COLOR][/B] On Valentine's Day a drunk young man walked up to an attractive girl and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" "Yes, but I know you're going to ask eventually anyway, so let's get it over with." "Great. How many men have you had sex with?" "That's my business!" she snapped. "Cool! How much?" [B][COLOR="Red"]**********[/COLOR][/B] On Valentines Day, Paul is walking to his girls house one afternoon and passes a florist shop. On a whim he buys a big bunch of flowers for her. When he gets to her house he holds the flowers out to her. Instead to taking them she slides her panties off from under her skirt, lays back on the couch, spreads her legs and says "This is for the flowers." Paul looks at her and says " Oh come now, surely you have a vase around here somewhere." [/QUOTE]
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