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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064255207" data-attributes="member: 14320">He Is Going To DieTwo guys are out hunting and the one stops to take a pee and while he has his penis out he gets bit on the head of his penis by a snake.The other hunter takes out his cell phone to call his family doctor to ask what he should do for his friend.The doctor replies, "make a small incision between the two fang marks and suck the poison out and then take him to the hospital for further treatment".The hunter that was bitten asked his friend what the doctor said and the other hunter replied "you're gonna die".--------- The difference in definition between "guts" and "balls"Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the lads, beingassaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Areyou still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the lads,smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping yourwife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next fatty".---------A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...""But how did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked."How do you think I called you people?"LesbianismThese two lesbians walked into a bar One extremely pretty and one extremely ugly.The pretty one said to the ugly one "I get us a drink".So she walked up to the bar and said to the bar-tender "Two Jim beams and coke"The bartender got the drinks and said, "That's $10."She said, "I don't have any money."The bartender said, "Well how are you going to pay for them?"She replied, "I'll show you my tits."He looked at her and replied, "O.K."So she showed him her tits, then took the drinks back to the table.The ugly one said,"How did you pay for those?"The pretty one said, "I showed him my tits and he gave them to me for free!"The ugly one said, "I try that." So she walked up to the bartender and said,"Two Jim beams and coke please".The bartender said, "That will be $10 please."The ugly one turned around and said, "I don't have any money!"The bartender said, "Well how are you going to pay for them?"She replied, "I will show you my tits"He replied back, "You're ugly so your tits will be ugly!"So the ugly one said, "O.K. then I will let you smell my friends pussy!"The bartender replied, "What that one over there?" (pointing to the good looking one) She said "Yeah."The bartender said, "Sure!"So the ugly one leaned over the bar and breathed in his face.</blockquote>

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