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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064252533" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A man says to girlfriend, "I'm feeling kinky tonight. How about I cum in your ear, baby?"</p><p></p><p>His girlfriend answers, "No way! I might go deaf."</p><p></p><p>Her guy replies dryly, "Bullshit! I've been cumming in your mouth for twenty years, and you never shut the fuck up."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«</span></strong></p><p></p><p>According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for most in a woman is intelligence, a sense of humor and a good personality. Good looks, big titties and a great ass don't count when selecting a woman.</p><p></p><p>This survey was published in "Full Of Shit Magazine."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A camel and an elephant meet.</p><p>The elephant asked the camel:</p><p>"Why do you have your breasts on your back?"</p><p>The camel, clearly irritated, replies:</p><p>"What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An ugly woman was walking along the street and a guy comes and asks her, "Are those two kids yours?"</p><p></p><p>"Yes," sad the lady.</p><p></p><p>"Are they twins?"</p><p></p><p>"No, no, the girl is 12 and my boy is 7. How come you think that they are twins?"</p><p></p><p>"Because I can't believe someone as ugly as you has been screwed twice." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">I Want A Raise</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Our maid asked for a raise, and my wife was upset about what she was thinking and decided to talk to her about it. She asked, "Maria, why do you want a raise?"</p><p>Maria: "Well, 3 reasons. First, I iron better than you."</p><p>Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"</p><p>Maria: "Your husband, he say so."</p><p>Wife: "Oh!"</p><p>Maria: "Second reason, I cook better than you do."</p><p>Wife: "Not true, who said that?"</p><p>Maria: "Your husband, he say I cook better."</p><p>Wife: "Oh!"</p><p>Maria: "Third reason is that I am better lover than you."</p><p>Wife (really angry now): "My husband said that, too?"</p><p>Maria: "No, the gardener, he say I better lover than you."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">SAD NEWS</span></strong></p><p>Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough and Dill Dough. Plus, they have one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">MOWING THE LAWN</span></strong></p><p>So I was sitting out on the front porch watching my girlfriend mow the lawn when this old lady comes to the fence and yells, "You ought to be hung, making her mow the lawn in this heat."</p><p>I called back, "I am, that is why she is mowing the lawn."</p><p>"Headache"</p><p>A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.</p><p>"Only on Saturdays," she says.The doctor advises her to do it more frequently, since it invigorates and boosts circulation.</p><p>"I can't," says the woman. "All those other nights I am home with my husband and have a headache."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064252533, member: 14320"] A man says to girlfriend, "I'm feeling kinky tonight. How about I cum in your ear, baby?" His girlfriend answers, "No way! I might go deaf." Her guy replies dryly, "Bullshit! I've been cumming in your mouth for twenty years, and you never shut the fuck up." [B][COLOR="Red"]»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«[/COLOR][/B] According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for most in a woman is intelligence, a sense of humor and a good personality. Good looks, big titties and a great ass don't count when selecting a woman. This survey was published in "Full Of Shit Magazine." [B][COLOR="Red"]»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«[/COLOR][/B] A camel and an elephant meet. The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?" The camel, clearly irritated, replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face." [B][COLOR="Red"]»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«[/COLOR][/B] An ugly woman was walking along the street and a guy comes and asks her, "Are those two kids yours?" "Yes," sad the lady. "Are they twins?" "No, no, the girl is 12 and my boy is 7. How come you think that they are twins?" "Because I can't believe someone as ugly as you has been screwed twice." [B][COLOR="Teal"]I Want A Raise[/COLOR][/B] Our maid asked for a raise, and my wife was upset about what she was thinking and decided to talk to her about it. She asked, "Maria, why do you want a raise?" Maria: "Well, 3 reasons. First, I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Your husband, he say so." Wife: "Oh!" Maria: "Second reason, I cook better than you do." Wife: "Not true, who said that?" Maria: "Your husband, he say I cook better." Wife: "Oh!" Maria: "Third reason is that I am better lover than you." Wife (really angry now): "My husband said that, too?" Maria: "No, the gardener, he say I better lover than you." [B][COLOR="Teal"]SAD NEWS[/COLOR][/B] Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough and Dill Dough. Plus, they have one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. [B][COLOR="Teal"]MOWING THE LAWN[/COLOR][/B] So I was sitting out on the front porch watching my girlfriend mow the lawn when this old lady comes to the fence and yells, "You ought to be hung, making her mow the lawn in this heat." I called back, "I am, that is why she is mowing the lawn." "Headache" A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Only on Saturdays," she says.The doctor advises her to do it more frequently, since it invigorates and boosts circulation. "I can't," says the woman. "All those other nights I am home with my husband and have a headache." [/QUOTE]
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