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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064228302" data-attributes="member: 14320">Mommy's WashclothThere was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby.One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked and he asked what was the hair in between her legs?She responded, "It's my washcloth".Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again, but while she was in the hospital the doctor shaved her pubic hair, and the boy asked his mother: "What happened to your washcloth?"The mother responded, "I lost it".The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, I found your washcloth, the mother thinking that the child was just playing went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?"The boy answered, "The maid has it and she is washing daddy's face with it."A Few Crappy LimericksSaid the Duchess at tea, of Chester"Young man, do you fart when you pee?"I replied with some wit,"Do you belch when you shit?"I think that was one up to me.There once was a young man from BrewsterWho said to his wife as he goosed her"That used to be grandBut look at my handYou're not wiping as clean as you used to."Judging by these walls of witShakespeare came here just to shitAnd judging by the awful smellHe brought his fuckin' horse as wellSpeedingA guy gets pulled over for speeding 88 MPH in a 45zone. The cop asks for his drivers license and the guysays, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspendedafter my 5th DUI."The cop asks for his registration and the guy says,"It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my namebecause I stole this car in a car jacking and I killedthe woman that owns the car and stuffed her in thetrunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment.At this point the cop tells the guy to keep his handsin sight and he radios for back-up.When a supervisor shows up, the cop tells him the storyand he walks up to the guy in the car. The supervisorasks to see the guy's drivers license and the guy handsit over and it is valid with the guys real name andinformation.The supervisor asks for the registration and the guysays, "It's in the Glove compartment." The supervisortells the guy to keep his hands in sight and walksaround to the passenger side and opens the glovecompartment. There is the registration in the guysname and everything seems in order.Next the supervisor asks the guy to get out and openthe trunk. The guy opens the trunk and the only thingthere is a spare tire.At this point the supervisor tells the guy what theother cop had told him. The guy says "I'll bet thatlying S.O.B. told you I was speeding too!"Guy goes into a bar and sits down."What'll you have?" asks the bartender."Gimmee a beer," replies the guy.The bartender asks, "What kind of beer?"The guy says, "Oh any kind, so long as it's not a Budweiser."So the barkeep pours him a Miller and says, "What do you haveagainst Budweiser?""Oh man," groans the guy, "I drank twenty three Budweiser's lastnight, went home, and blew chunks."The bartender says, "Listen pal, you drink twenty three of anybeer and you're gonna blow chunks."The guy says, "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog!"</blockquote>

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https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/DSC02399-Small.jpg

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