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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064227061" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover</span></strong></p><p></p><p>You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.</p><p>Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."</p><p>Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.</p><p>The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"</p><p>You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.</p><p>You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.</p><p>You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.</p><p>Your catch phrase is, "Never again."</p><p>You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.</p><p>Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==========</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.</p><p>At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.</p><p>He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host: "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."</p><p>The guest continued: "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">New Year's Resolutions</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">New Year's Resolutions For Him & Her [Him (Y) / Her (X)]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>X - Lose weight / Go on a diet / Drink more water</p><p>Y - One case beer per weekend (unless having guys over or</p><p>Superbowl weekend)</p><p></p><p>X - ONLY - one chocolate bar per week</p><p>Y - ONLY - three nights at topless bar per week</p><p></p><p>X - Workout - Jog/Step Bench 5 times week</p><p>Y - Move furniture to find lost little black book and bedroom</p><p>TV remote</p><p></p><p>X - Subscribe to Shape/Fitness Magazine</p><p>Y - Call 1-800 number to get on Victoria's Secret catalog mailing</p><p>list</p><p></p><p>X - Go on romantic second date with Bob/Accounting</p><p>Y - Score on second date with Suzy/Marketing</p><p></p><p>X - Get organized/clean house</p><p>Y - Give old Penthouse mags to Goodwill (or younger brother)</p><p></p><p>X - Buy new Daily Planner</p><p>Y - Buy new little Black Book if no luck under furniture</p><p></p><p>X - Find out name of tall good-looking guy in Finance</p><p>Y - Score with tall, long-legged Blond in Finance</p><p></p><p>X - Read More / Less TV</p><p>Y - Buy Dish - More sports channels!!</p><p></p><p>X - Watch quality TV with positive messages</p><p>Y - When surfing DO NOT stop on "Allie McBeal" -EVER</p><p></p><p>X - Plan budget / Save more money</p><p>Y - Only three nights at topless bar per week</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064227061, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover[/COLOR][/B] You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still." Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!" You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position. Your catch phrase is, "Never again." You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!" [B][COLOR="Red"]==========[/COLOR][/B] The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement. He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host: "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway." The guest continued: "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved." [B][COLOR="Teal"]New Year's Resolutions New Year's Resolutions For Him & Her [Him (Y) / Her (X)][/COLOR][/B] X - Lose weight / Go on a diet / Drink more water Y - One case beer per weekend (unless having guys over or Superbowl weekend) X - ONLY - one chocolate bar per week Y - ONLY - three nights at topless bar per week X - Workout - Jog/Step Bench 5 times week Y - Move furniture to find lost little black book and bedroom TV remote X - Subscribe to Shape/Fitness Magazine Y - Call 1-800 number to get on Victoria's Secret catalog mailing list X - Go on romantic second date with Bob/Accounting Y - Score on second date with Suzy/Marketing X - Get organized/clean house Y - Give old Penthouse mags to Goodwill (or younger brother) X - Buy new Daily Planner Y - Buy new little Black Book if no luck under furniture X - Find out name of tall good-looking guy in Finance Y - Score with tall, long-legged Blond in Finance X - Read More / Less TV Y - Buy Dish - More sports channels!! X - Watch quality TV with positive messages Y - When surfing DO NOT stop on "Allie McBeal" -EVER X - Plan budget / Save more money Y - Only three nights at topless bar per week [/QUOTE]
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