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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064217094" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Christmas Song</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Dildoes and corsets and Chainmail Bikinis</p><p>Black Leather cages you lock on your weenies</p><p>Fetish and fashion and pierced nipple rings</p><p>These are a few of my favorite things ...</p><p></p><p>When the lash bites</p><p>When the crop stings</p><p>When it hits the Spot</p><p>I simply remember my favorite things</p><p>And it makes me feel ... so hot!!</p><p></p><p>Wrist cuffs and collars and straps of black leather</p><p>Chrome chains and Padlocks to hold them together</p><p>Tease whips and gags sort the girls from the boys</p><p>These are a few of my favorite toys ...</p><p></p><p>Nip Clips and Clit clips and Ball gags and Blindfolds</p><p>Dildoes and butt plugs to stop up your assholes</p><p>Enema pipes and some new "KY" gel</p><p>All delivered in brown paper, so the neighbors can't tell ...</p><p></p><p>Bottle green panties like the girls wore in school</p><p>A brief French maids outfit to make your mouth drool</p><p>Black halter tops and a PVC skirt</p><p>And a long leather whip ... Oh yes, that will hurt!!</p><p></p><p>Floggers and paddles and crops of black leather</p><p>Rubber and latex are fun in all weather</p><p>Canes of rattan that deliver a sting</p><p>All these and more are my favorite things!!!</p><p></p><p>When the lash bites</p><p>When the crop stings</p><p>When it hits the Spot</p><p>I simply remember my favorite things</p><p>And it makes me feel ... so hot!!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Santa's Problems</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I have been watching you very closely to see if you</p><p>have been good this year and since you have I will be</p><p>telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave</p><p>under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you</p><p>all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a</p><p>little problem.</p><p></p><p>The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD</p><p>from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords</p><p>leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the</p><p>9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird</p><p>things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese</p><p>a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle</p><p>doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to</p><p>my sled runners in bird shit.</p><p></p><p>On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through</p><p>menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves</p><p>have joined the gay liberation and some people who</p><p>can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the</p><p>5th of January.</p><p></p><p>Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together</p><p>and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest</p><p>you get your asses down to Walmart</p><p>before everything is gone.</p><p></p><p>Sincerely,</p><p>Santa Claus</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064217094, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Christmas Song[/COLOR][/B] Dildoes and corsets and Chainmail Bikinis Black Leather cages you lock on your weenies Fetish and fashion and pierced nipple rings These are a few of my favorite things ... When the lash bites When the crop stings When it hits the Spot I simply remember my favorite things And it makes me feel ... so hot!! Wrist cuffs and collars and straps of black leather Chrome chains and Padlocks to hold them together Tease whips and gags sort the girls from the boys These are a few of my favorite toys ... Nip Clips and Clit clips and Ball gags and Blindfolds Dildoes and butt plugs to stop up your assholes Enema pipes and some new "KY" gel All delivered in brown paper, so the neighbors can't tell ... Bottle green panties like the girls wore in school A brief French maids outfit to make your mouth drool Black halter tops and a PVC skirt And a long leather whip ... Oh yes, that will hurt!! Floggers and paddles and crops of black leather Rubber and latex are fun in all weather Canes of rattan that deliver a sting All these and more are my favorite things!!! When the lash bites When the crop stings When it hits the Spot I simply remember my favorite things And it makes me feel ... so hot!! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Santa's Problems[/COLOR][/B] I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit. On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to Walmart before everything is gone. Sincerely, Santa Claus [/QUOTE]
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