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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064205107" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Perfect Woman Would Say...1. I'll swallow it all ... I love the taste.2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, acase of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over fora threesome!5. If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you pleasetry again?7. You're so sexy when you're hung over.8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than goshopping.9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women'sasses.12. I'll be out painting the house.13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish youhad time to play on Saturday, too.14. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again,come see!15. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.16. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.17. Your mother did a great job raising you.18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thingand buy yourself new clubs.19. I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year forGod's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderfulstress reliever.20. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?21. Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that newstrip joint!22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don'tyou retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up forthe night feedings.24. That was a great fart! Do another one!25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behindmy head for ya!ConfessionTommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive mefather for I have sinned.""What have you done Tommy O'Connor?""I had sex with a girl.""Who was it, Tommy?""I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?""No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannottell you who it was.""Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No father, pleaseforgive me for my sin.""Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe.""No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who itwas.""Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers andyou will be abolished of your sin."So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Josephwas waiting."What did ya get?" asked Joseph."Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads.""""""""""""Two mates are having a chat over a beer."Do you like sheilas with bad body odor and bad breath?" one bloke asks his friend."No way!" his mate replies."Well," says the first bloke, "do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?""Fuck no!" his mate replies."Well," says the first bloke, "what the hell are you doing fuckin' around with my wife?"</blockquote>

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