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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064205107" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Perfect Woman Would Say...</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. I'll swallow it all ... I love the taste.</p><p></p><p>2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?</p><p></p><p>3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!</p><p></p><p>4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a</p><p>case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over for</p><p>a threesome!</p><p></p><p>5. If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!</p><p></p><p>6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please</p><p>try again?</p><p></p><p>7. You're so sexy when you're hung over.</p><p></p><p>8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go</p><p>shopping.</p><p></p><p>9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.</p><p></p><p>10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?</p><p></p><p>11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's</p><p>asses.</p><p></p><p>12. I'll be out painting the house.</p><p></p><p>13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you</p><p>had time to play on Saturday, too.</p><p></p><p>14. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again,</p><p>come see!</p><p></p><p>15. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.</p><p></p><p>16. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.</p><p></p><p>17. Your mother did a great job raising you.</p><p></p><p>18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing</p><p>and buy yourself new clubs.</p><p></p><p>19. I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year for</p><p>God's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful</p><p>stress reliever.</p><p></p><p>20. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?</p><p></p><p>21. Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new</p><p>strip joint!</p><p></p><p>22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't</p><p>you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.</p><p></p><p>23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for</p><p>the night feedings.</p><p></p><p>24. That was a great fart! Do another one!</p><p></p><p>25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind</p><p>my head for ya!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Confession</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me</p><p>father for I have sinned."</p><p></p><p>"What have you done Tommy O'Connor?"</p><p></p><p>"I had sex with a girl."</p><p></p><p>"Who was it, Tommy?"</p><p></p><p>"I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin."</p><p></p><p>"Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?"</p><p></p><p>"No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot</p><p>tell you who it was."</p><p></p><p>"Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No father, please</p><p>forgive me for my sin."</p><p></p><p>"Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe."</p><p></p><p>"No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it</p><p>was."</p><p></p><p>"Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and</p><p>you will be abolished of your sin."</p><p></p><p>So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph</p><p>was waiting.</p><p></p><p>"What did ya get?" asked Joseph.</p><p></p><p>"Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">"""""""""""</span></strong></p><p>Two mates are having a chat over a beer.</p><p>"Do you like sheilas with bad body odor and bad breath?" one bloke asks his friend.</p><p>"No way!" his mate replies.</p><p>"Well," says the first bloke, "do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?"</p><p>"Fuck no!" his mate replies.</p><p>"Well," says the first bloke, "what the hell are you doing fuckin' around with my wife?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064205107, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Perfect Woman Would Say...[/COLOR][/B] 1. I'll swallow it all ... I love the taste. 2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? 3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy! 4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over for a threesome! 5. If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust! 6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again? 7. You're so sexy when you're hung over. 8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. 9. Let's subscribe to Hustler. 10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend? 11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses. 12. I'll be out painting the house. 13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday, too. 14. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see! 15. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 16. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed. 17. Your mother did a great job raising you. 18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself new clubs. 19. I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year for God's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever. 20. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies? 21. Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint! 22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8. 23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings. 24. That was a great fart! Do another one! 25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Confession[/COLOR][/B] Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." "What have you done Tommy O'Connor?" "I had sex with a girl." "Who was it, Tommy?" "I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin." "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was." "Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No father, please forgive me for my sin." "Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe." "No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin." So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. "What did ya get?" asked Joseph. "Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads." [B][COLOR="Red"]"""""""""""[/COLOR][/B] Two mates are having a chat over a beer. "Do you like sheilas with bad body odor and bad breath?" one bloke asks his friend. "No way!" his mate replies. "Well," says the first bloke, "do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?" "Fuck no!" his mate replies. "Well," says the first bloke, "what the hell are you doing fuckin' around with my wife?" [/QUOTE]
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