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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064203399" data-attributes="member: 14320">A MidgetA midget walks into the doctors and says, "Doc, I've got these fuckingitchy balls and I can't do anything to stop 'em itching".The Doc says, "I can see the problem and I'll fix it for ya"So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes.The midget hears snip, snip snip noises for about 5 minutes.The doc finishes and says, "How's that?"The midget says, "Fucking brilliant, what did you do?"The Doc says, "I trimmed back your ugg boots"May your bleeding piles torment youAnd corns grow on your feetAnd crabs the size of horse turdsGet on your balls and eatAnd when you're old and feebleA syphilletic wreckMay your head fall through your assholeAnd break your fucking neckQ: What did the husband do when he saw his wife staggering around the backyard?A: He reloaded and shot her again!Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it."The People's Poet"( from Down Underand has a real Australian flavor)The country was in such a terrible state,parliament rose for a budget debate,It was quite a few moments before Howard spokeAnd then he said, "Sex will cost ten quid a poke"Whether you're short, long skinny or thick,The tax will be paid on the use of your prickCostello said ,"Now Howard, please, look here,Will the tax still be paid for the boys who are queer?"Minister Downer arose and looked glum,"Will I be exempt coz I only like Bum?"Howard replied and sounded quite airy,"You'll fucking pay double, you dirty old fairy!"Up got Kim Beazley to tremendous applause,He grabbed Stott Despoja and whipped off her drawersHe straddled across her and fucked her at willThen shouted at Howard "Put that on your bill!"Evans shouted "I think I'll resign,I haven't had pussy for a very long timeI dream every night of a big juicy crutchBut ten quid a jump is a bit fucking much"The debate carried on, Oh what a night!Mal Colston was bonking every woman in sightThe whole house was screwing, the speaker was tooAnd in the excitement, the dumb bill got throughSo now in the bedrooms of Australia each nightThere is many a fanny closed up good and tightThey're taxing our booze and taxing our smokesAnd now the bastards are taxing our pokesIf ten dollars a time is the price we must payIt is now with ourselves we all must play,So to quench our frustration's we must have a wankFor the state of our country we have John Howard to thank!!!!*********Q: Why did god invent football?A: So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives.Q: Why do woman always appear to be changing their minds?A: It allows them to continually delude themselves that they have one!Q: Why hasn't a woman walked on the moon?A: Because it doesn't need cleaning!</blockquote>

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