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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064178028" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Dirty Q's & A's</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?</p><p>A: The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner</p><p>will stop and wait for the stop sign to turn green.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the definition of confusion?</p><p>A: 20 blind lesbians in a fish shop !!!!!</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the definition of a vagina?</p><p>A: The box a penis comes in.</p><p></p><p>Q: What two words will clear out a men's restroom?</p><p>A: "Nice Dick!"</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators?</p><p>A: Toy's for Twats.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do we have orgasms?</p><p>A: How else would we know when to stop?</p><p></p><p>Q: What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?</p><p>A: Both capture the moment.</p><p></p><p>Q: How is sex like software?</p><p>A: For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the definition of nothing?</p><p>A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and</p><p>injures his nose.</p><p></p><p>Q: Do you know what a Yankee is?</p><p>A: The same thing as a quickie but you’re doing it by hand.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why can't lesbians wear makeup and go on a diet at the same</p><p>time?</p><p>A: Because it's hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your</p><p>face.</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you recycle a condom?</p><p>A: Shake the FUCK out of it!</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the best thing about Alzheimer's Disease?</p><p>A: You make new friends every day.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why did the faggot think his lover was cheating on him?</p><p>A: Because he came home shit faced.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?</p><p>A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.</p><p></p><p>Q: What does a camera and a condom have in common?</p><p>A: They both capture that magic moment.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?</p><p>A: You can unscrew a light bulb.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Personal Ads From Men</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What they really mean...</p><p></p><p>* 40-ish... 52 and looking for 25-year-old</p><p></p><p>* Athletic... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN</p><p></p><p>* Average-looking. .. Unusual hair growth on ears, nose</p><p>& back</p><p></p><p>* Educated... Will always treat you like an idiot</p><p></p><p>* Free Spirit... Sleeps with your sister</p><p></p><p>* Friendship First... As long as friendship involves</p><p>Nudity</p><p></p><p>* Fun... Good with a remote and a six-pack</p><p></p><p>* Huggable... Overweight, more body hair than a bear</p><p></p><p>* Like to cuddle.... Insecure, overly dependent</p><p></p><p>* Open-minded. .. Wants to sleep with your sister but</p><p>she's not Interested</p><p></p><p>* Physically fit... I spend a lot of time in front of</p><p>A mirror admiring Myself</p><p></p><p>* Poet... Has written on a bathroom stall</p><p></p><p>* Spiritual... Once went to church with my grandmother</p><p>On Easter Sunday</p><p></p><p>* Stable... Occasional stalker, but never arrested</p><p></p><p>* Thoughtful.. . Says "Please" when demanding a beer!</p><p></p><p></p><p>"My but you look different today Claudia." commented</p><p>Rene to her co- worker.</p><p>"Your hair is extra curly, and you have this</p><p>Wide-eyed look. What did you use -- special curlers</p><p>And some dramatic eye make-up ?"</p><p>"No !" replied Claudia. "My damn vibrator shorted out</p><p>This morning."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064178028, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Dirty Q's & A's[/COLOR][/B] Q: What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner? A: The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will stop and wait for the stop sign to turn green. Q: What is the definition of confusion? A: 20 blind lesbians in a fish shop !!!!! Q: What's the definition of a vagina? A: The box a penis comes in. Q: What two words will clear out a men's restroom? A: "Nice Dick!" Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toy's for Twats. Q: Why do we have orgasms? A: How else would we know when to stop? Q: What does Kodak film have in common with condoms? A: Both capture the moment. Q: How is sex like software? A: For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free. Q: What is the definition of nothing? A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his nose. Q: Do you know what a Yankee is? A: The same thing as a quickie but you’re doing it by hand. Q: Why can't lesbians wear makeup and go on a diet at the same time? A: Because it's hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face. Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Shake the FUCK out of it! Q: What's the best thing about Alzheimer's Disease? A: You make new friends every day. Q: Why did the faggot think his lover was cheating on him? A: Because he came home shit faced. Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you. Q: What does a camera and a condom have in common? A: They both capture that magic moment. Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Personal Ads From Men[/COLOR][/B] What they really mean... * 40-ish... 52 and looking for 25-year-old * Athletic... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN * Average-looking. .. Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back * Educated... Will always treat you like an idiot * Free Spirit... Sleeps with your sister * Friendship First... As long as friendship involves Nudity * Fun... Good with a remote and a six-pack * Huggable... Overweight, more body hair than a bear * Like to cuddle.... Insecure, overly dependent * Open-minded. .. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not Interested * Physically fit... I spend a lot of time in front of A mirror admiring Myself * Poet... Has written on a bathroom stall * Spiritual... Once went to church with my grandmother On Easter Sunday * Stable... Occasional stalker, but never arrested * Thoughtful.. . Says "Please" when demanding a beer! "My but you look different today Claudia." commented Rene to her co- worker. "Your hair is extra curly, and you have this Wide-eyed look. What did you use -- special curlers And some dramatic eye make-up ?" "No !" replied Claudia. "My damn vibrator shorted out This morning." [/QUOTE]
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