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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064161915" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking females. One spots</p><p>a real cutie sitting on a pile of cow shit and dives down toward her. "Pardon me"</p><p>he asks, turning on his best charm, "...but is this stool taken?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"My wife and I split up because we had too much in common," said the solitary</p><p>drinker to the bartender.</p><p>"Is that so?"</p><p>"Yeah - we both liked to eat pussy!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear about the sluts’ party?</p><p>A: Every cunt was full.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman?</p><p>The woman, of course. Look at it this way. When your ear itches and you put</p><p>your little finger in it and wiggle it around, what feels better - your finger or your ear?</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his</p><p>parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then</p><p>continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for</p><p>sucking my thumb!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>This guy is eating this prostitutes cunt and he says, "this</p><p>tastes like rice pudding?"</p><p>"That's what all the boys say, but it's really maggots."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Whore House Slogans</p><p></p><p>1. More Fuck for your Buck!</p><p></p><p>2. More Honey for your Money!</p><p></p><p>3. More Gash for your Cash!</p><p></p><p>4. More Hole for your Pole!</p><p></p><p>5. More Head for your Bread!</p><p></p><p>6. More Booty for your Looty!</p><p></p><p>7. More Strange for your Change!</p><p></p><p>8. She'll Wear a Collar for a Dollar!</p><p></p><p>9. Will suck for a buck!</p><p></p><p>10. We'll Tally Whack Your Ban !</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Imaginary New Condom Brands:</span></strong></p><p>Nike condoms - Just do it.</p><p>Toyota condoms - Oh what a feeling.</p><p>Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop.</p><p>KFC condoms - Finger-lickin' good.</p><p>J Ford condoms - The best never rest.</p><p>Bounty condoms - The quicker picker-upper.</p><p>Energizer condoms -It keeps going and going and going.</p><p>M & Ms condoms -It melts in your mouth, not in your hands.</p><p>Star Trek condoms - To boldly go where no man has gone before.</p><p>Why are condoms like cameras? - they both capture the moment.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground.</p><p>He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.</p><p>The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911.</p><p>He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"</p><p>The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."</p><p>There is a silence..........then a shot is heard.</p><p>The redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064161915, member: 14320"] Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of cow shit and dives down toward her. "Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm, "...but is this stool taken?" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] "My wife and I split up because we had too much in common," said the solitary drinker to the bartender. "Is that so?" "Yeah - we both liked to eat pussy!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Q: Did you hear about the sluts’ party? A: Every cunt was full. [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman? The woman, of course. Look at it this way. When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, what feels better - your finger or your ear? [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] This guy is eating this prostitutes cunt and he says, "this tastes like rice pudding?" "That's what all the boys say, but it's really maggots." [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Whore House Slogans 1. More Fuck for your Buck! 2. More Honey for your Money! 3. More Gash for your Cash! 4. More Hole for your Pole! 5. More Head for your Bread! 6. More Booty for your Looty! 7. More Strange for your Change! 8. She'll Wear a Collar for a Dollar! 9. Will suck for a buck! 10. We'll Tally Whack Your Ban ! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Imaginary New Condom Brands:[/COLOR][/B] Nike condoms - Just do it. Toyota condoms - Oh what a feeling. Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop. KFC condoms - Finger-lickin' good. J Ford condoms - The best never rest. Bounty condoms - The quicker picker-upper. Energizer condoms -It keeps going and going and going. M & Ms condoms -It melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Star Trek condoms - To boldly go where no man has gone before. Why are condoms like cameras? - they both capture the moment. A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence..........then a shot is heard. The redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what! [/QUOTE]
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