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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064161036" data-attributes="member: 14320">Things You Never Thought AboutHere are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about;Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Why do you have to "put your two cents in, but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?What disease did cured ham actually have?How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoidwhen it's in your butt?Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? The Legless ParrotA man who is concerned about his wife cheating on him wants to catch her in the act. He doesn't have enough money to hire a PI, so he goes to a pet shop. There he asks the clerk if he has a parrot for sale. The clerk shows him the last parrot he has: "This is the last parrot I have for sale. He doesn't have any legs, but he is very smart." The man asks, "If he doesn't have any legs, how does he stay on the perch?" "He holds on with his dick." the clerk answered. The man asks " How much?" "Since he doesn't have any legs, I'll sell him to you for fifty bucks."The suspicious man purchases the talking bird and takes him home. He sets up the cage in his bedroom where he can see everything; he then instructs the parrot to watch what ever goes on in the room and inform him when he gets home from work.So the next morning he leaves for work and his wife stays home, as usual. When the man gets home from work, as his wife is cooking supper, he asks the parrot to tell him what went on during the day. The parrot begins, "At eight o'clock this morning the mailman came...."Interrupting the man asks, "Yeah and what happened?" [parrot] “he came in the house..." Furiously, the man asked "And then" [parrot] "...and then he came into the bedroom..." Astounded the man impatiently asks, "What happened next?"[parrot] "He began to take off his clothes and she hers..." "What happened after that!"The parrot then replied, "I don't know I sprung a boner and fell off!"*****For a lark this strip joint has a contest, for the smelliestcunt contest. So this Fat disgusting chick shows up withher husband. She's so fat and lazy she has to be assistedby her husband to the cunt stand. She blows the doorsout of this place because her cunt is so smelly. She winshands down. Her brave husband had stuck with her andaccepted the check for winning the contest. Themanagement couldn't help but ask, how do you stand thesmell. He says, "well when she first died two weeks ago,it was pretty bad, but you get used to it."</blockquote>

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