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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064147228" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A Womanizer And The Devil</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A womanizer died and went to hell for his sins. He is greeted by the devil, who tells him that he has three choices of room for his eternal stay. Asking the devil if he can view the rooms before he decides, the man is led to the first room.</p><p>He opens the door to discover millions of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor.</p><p>"I don't like the look of that!" said the man, "Let me have a look at the next room."</p><p>Satan leads him further until they come to another door. When the man opens the door he finds that there are millions of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor.</p><p>"No," the man told Satan, "That's not for me either."</p><p>Eventually they reach the final room, and the man looks inside and see's millions of people standing knee deep in shit, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee.</p><p>Despite the disgusting smell, he decides that this is the best option and tells the devil his decision.</p><p>The man enters the room and starts chatting to the other people.</p><p>Five minutes later the devil walks in and says, "Ok you lot, your coffee break is over, get back on your heads!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=========</span></strong></p><p>There was a couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband had put his bedside lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a short time though, then stopped and went on reading his book. The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him.</p><p>The husband looked confused and asked, "What are you doing taking all your clothes off?"</p><p>The wife said, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier!"</p><p>The husband said, "Not at all!"</p><p>The wife then shouted, "Well what the hell were you doing then?"</p><p>"Oh I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages on the book." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Yo Mama's So Fat...</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the</p><p>milk truck.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls arse, she has to make two trips.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a</p><p>time.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on</p><p>her good side.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the</p><p>water.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on</p><p>the other side to get her through.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease,</p><p>the doctor gave her 5 years to live.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when your dad climbs on top of her, his ears pop.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my butt on</p><p>the light bulb.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her legs don't get wet.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss</p><p>Hoggs.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, her lipstick comes in a spray can.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing</p><p>up.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth</p><p>certificate, she got blue prints.</p><p>~Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures had to be put on 24 x 36 posters.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064147228, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]A Womanizer And The Devil[/COLOR][/B] A womanizer died and went to hell for his sins. He is greeted by the devil, who tells him that he has three choices of room for his eternal stay. Asking the devil if he can view the rooms before he decides, the man is led to the first room. He opens the door to discover millions of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor. "I don't like the look of that!" said the man, "Let me have a look at the next room." Satan leads him further until they come to another door. When the man opens the door he finds that there are millions of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. "No," the man told Satan, "That's not for me either." Eventually they reach the final room, and the man looks inside and see's millions of people standing knee deep in shit, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. Despite the disgusting smell, he decides that this is the best option and tells the devil his decision. The man enters the room and starts chatting to the other people. Five minutes later the devil walks in and says, "Ok you lot, your coffee break is over, get back on your heads!" [B][COLOR="Red"]=========[/COLOR][/B] There was a couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband had put his bedside lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a short time though, then stopped and went on reading his book. The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband looked confused and asked, "What are you doing taking all your clothes off?" The wife said, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier!" The husband said, "Not at all!" The wife then shouted, "Well what the hell were you doing then?" "Oh I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages on the book." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Yo Mama's So Fat...[/COLOR][/B] Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls arse, she has to make two trips. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip. ~Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time. ~Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side. ~Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water. ~Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live. ~Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames. ~Yo mama's so fat, when your dad climbs on top of her, his ears pop. ~Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil. ~Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my butt on the light bulb. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her legs don't get wet. ~Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs. ~Yo mama's so fat, her lipstick comes in a spray can. ~Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change. ~Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat. ~Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing up. ~Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints. ~Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures had to be put on 24 x 36 posters. [/QUOTE]
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