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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064113809" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">More Blonde Q's and A's</span></strong></p><p></p><p>How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.?</p><p>With a tire gauge.</p><p></p><p>How do you change a blonde's mind?</p><p>Blow in her ear.</p><p></p><p>What did the blonde yell when she saw the car accident?</p><p>I'll go and call 911, what's the number???</p><p></p><p>What's a blonde doing when she grasps at thin air?</p><p>Collecting her thoughts.</p><p></p><p>What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other?</p><p>An air mattress.</p><p></p><p>Why do blondes wear a ponytail?</p><p>To hide the valve stem.</p><p></p><p>Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?</p><p>Because red means Stop.</p><p></p><p>What do blondes and cow pies have in common?</p><p>The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.</p><p></p><p>Why do blondes always fail driver's tests?</p><p>Every time the car stops, they hop in the back seat.</p><p></p><p>What did the blonde say when her doctor told her she was pregnant?</p><p>Are you sure it's it mine?</p><p></p><p>What did the blonde's mom say before her daughter went out on a</p><p>date?</p><p>If you're not in bed by 10pm, come home!</p><p></p><p>What does a blonde use for birth control?</p><p>Brown hair-dye.</p><p></p><p>What are the first two things that a blonde does in the morning?</p><p>1. She introduces herself.</p><p>2. She goes home</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Andrew and his wife, Gladys, were working in the yard. Gladys was bent</p><p>over weeding. Andrew looked and Gladys and said, "Gee honey, your butt</p><p>is as big as the BBQ." She gave him an obscene gesture and continued</p><p>weeding.</p><p></p><p>That night when they went to bed, Andrew got a bit amorous, but Gladys</p><p>was not responding. Andrew asked her what the matter was. She said, "If</p><p>you think I'm going to fire up my grill for that little piece of meat,</p><p>you're crazy."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Grandad</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The other week we had a big family party and all my uncles, aunts,</p><p>cousins and grandparents came.</p><p>At the end of the night when everbody was</p><p>leaving we agreed that as Grandad was bit worse for wear he and Nanna</p><p>could sleep the night.</p><p>As we've only got a small house Nanna slept in my</p><p>bed with my wife and I slept in the spare bed with Grandad.</p><p>I was trying</p><p>to get some sleep but found it hard cos grandad was tossing and turning</p><p>all night.</p><p>I was just dropping off when grandad sat upright and was</p><p>about to get out of bed.</p><p>"Where you going" I said.</p><p>"To give your Nanna</p><p>one" came the reply.</p><p>"What you must be joking, its the middle of the</p><p>night you can't do that".I told him.</p><p>"Listen boy I've not had sex for</p><p>years and I've got a hard-on. I'm not going to waste it" he said</p><p>"Well</p><p>you better take me with you then", I said.</p><p>"Why's that ?" he asked.</p><p>"Cos that's my cock you've got your hand on"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">-------------</span></strong></p><p>Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid</p><p>back and forth, watching the bubbles.</p><p>The Priest walked up and asked him</p><p>what he was doing? Little Johnny replied,</p><p>"I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world."</p><p>The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water</p><p>is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put</p><p>Holy Water on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a boy!"</p><p>Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is turpentine. If you put this on a cat's</p><p>ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson......."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064113809, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]More Blonde Q's and A's[/COLOR][/B] How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.? With a tire gauge. How do you change a blonde's mind? Blow in her ear. What did the blonde yell when she saw the car accident? I'll go and call 911, what's the number??? What's a blonde doing when she grasps at thin air? Collecting her thoughts. What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? An air mattress. Why do blondes wear a ponytail? To hide the valve stem. Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means Stop. What do blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. Why do blondes always fail driver's tests? Every time the car stops, they hop in the back seat. What did the blonde say when her doctor told her she was pregnant? Are you sure it's it mine? What did the blonde's mom say before her daughter went out on a date? If you're not in bed by 10pm, come home! What does a blonde use for birth control? Brown hair-dye. What are the first two things that a blonde does in the morning? 1. She introduces herself. 2. She goes home [B][COLOR="Red"]~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~[/COLOR][/B] Andrew and his wife, Gladys, were working in the yard. Gladys was bent over weeding. Andrew looked and Gladys and said, "Gee honey, your butt is as big as the BBQ." She gave him an obscene gesture and continued weeding. That night when they went to bed, Andrew got a bit amorous, but Gladys was not responding. Andrew asked her what the matter was. She said, "If you think I'm going to fire up my grill for that little piece of meat, you're crazy." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Grandad[/COLOR][/B] The other week we had a big family party and all my uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents came. At the end of the night when everbody was leaving we agreed that as Grandad was bit worse for wear he and Nanna could sleep the night. As we've only got a small house Nanna slept in my bed with my wife and I slept in the spare bed with Grandad. I was trying to get some sleep but found it hard cos grandad was tossing and turning all night. I was just dropping off when grandad sat upright and was about to get out of bed. "Where you going" I said. "To give your Nanna one" came the reply. "What you must be joking, its the middle of the night you can't do that".I told him. "Listen boy I've not had sex for years and I've got a hard-on. I'm not going to waste it" he said "Well you better take me with you then", I said. "Why's that ?" he asked. "Cos that's my cock you've got your hand on" [B][COLOR="Red"]-------------[/COLOR][/B] Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing? Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world." The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a boy!" Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is turpentine. If you put this on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson......." [/QUOTE]
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