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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064113248" data-attributes="member: 14320">70 Things Not To Say To A Man Who Is Penis-Impared~1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.2. Ahh, it's cute.3. Stop fingering me and fuck me.4. I'm sorry.5. Who circumcised you?6. Why don't we just cuddle?7. You know they have surgery to fix that.8. It's more fun to look at.9. Make it dance.10. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.11. Can I paint a smiley face on that?12. It looks like a nightcrawler.13. Wow, and your feet are so big.14. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.15. It's OK, we'll work around it.16. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?17. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.18. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?19. Oh no, a flash headache.20. (giggle and point)21. Can I be honest with you?22. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.23. Let me go get my tweezers.24. How sweet, you brought incense.25. This explains your car.26. You must be a growing boy.27. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.28. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.29. Are you one of those pygmies?30. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?31. Ever hear of Clearasil?32. All right, a treasure hunt!33. I didn't know they came that small.34. Why is God punishing you?35. At least this won't take long.36. Let's just stick with your hand.37. Do you need a splint to prop that up.38. How interesting.39. I never saw one like that before.40. What do you call this?41. But it still works right?42. Damn I hate baby-sitting.43. It looks so unused.44. Do you take steroids?45. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.46. Maybe it looks better in natural light.47. I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.48. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?49. Let me know when you're done.50. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.51. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?52. Aww, it's hiding.53. Are you cold?54. If you get me real drunk first.55. Is that an optical illusion?56. What is that?57. Does this run in your family?58. I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.59. Were you neutered?60. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.61. Does it come with an air pump?62. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.63. Where are the puppet strings?64. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.65. Deep throat??? I doubt it'll reach my tongue!!!66. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.67. Can you get this pencil out of me now?68. Do I hang my hat on it?69. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!70. Why can't you be more like Buffalo?Johnny FuckauerIt was the first day of school, and the elementaryschool teacher was establishing the fact that she'dtake no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy,"My name is Johnny Fuckhauer".So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thingthis year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!".The kid said "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer.You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask mybrother if you don't believe me!"Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, theteacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourthgrade classroom door.The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall tothe front office for a moment, so she entered the roomand directly asked the class, "Do you have a Fuckhauerin here?""Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row,"We don't even get a cookie break!"~~~~~What do you get when you cross a rooster with M&M's?A cock that melts in your mouth~~~~~A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man,to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, For his moods.Because Lord if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death~~~~~A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their ailments."My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup.""Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad thatI can't see to pour my coffee.""I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.""My blood pressure pills make my dizzy.""I guess that's the price we pay for getting old.""Well, it's not all bad.We should be thankful that we can still drive."</blockquote>

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