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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064098991" data-attributes="member: 14320">Creation Of The PussySeven wise men with knowledge so fine,created a pussy to their design.First was a carpenter, strong and bold,using a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.Second was a butcher, endowed with wit,using a knife, he gave it a slit.Then came a tailor, tall and thin,with a piece of red velvet, he lined it within.Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,using a piece of fur, he lined it without.Then came a fisherman, nasty as Hell,he threw in a fish and gave it a smell.Next was a preacher, whose name was McGee,he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.Finally, a sailor, the dirty little runt,he fucked it and sucked it and called it a cunt.dddddQ: How can you tell if two lesbians are twins?A: They lick alike.Q: What's a tiger?A: A five-hundred-pound pussy that eats you.Q: When do you know you're really lonely?A: Your own tongue starts to feel good in your mouth.dddddThere once was a girl from DecaturWho got laid by a big alligator.Now, nobody knewThe result of that screw,Because after he laid her, he ate her.There once was a man from MadrassWhose balls were made out of brassWhen he'd bang 'em togetherThey'd play stormy weatherAnd lightning would shoot out of his assdddddQ. What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?A. An elephant with diarrhea.Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?A. Her lipstickQ. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?A. Well hung.dddddThis guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"One morning a little girl ran inside and said Daddy, Daddy my sisterand the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barnon all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he hashis pants down. I think they are about to piss all over that newhay!=====Why is it good for young boys to read Playboy and Penthouse?It improves hand to eye coordination.=====What do you call a handcuffed man?Trustworthy.=====What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breathand calling your name?You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.====="I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up.They have no holidays."=====Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?A. He's down to four butts a day.Q. What does a poof and an ambulance have in common?A. They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?A. He found a hare up his ass.Q. Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?A. So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers?A. They exchanged loads. Advice To Be Passed On To Your DaughterDon't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them allup there.Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that youcan tell them apart.Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity tomake some woman miserable.HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE GROWING OLD ...You get winded playing cards.Your children begin to look middle aged.You join a health club and don't go.You look forward to dull eveningsYou sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.You know all the answers but nobody asks you questions.You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there."Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can’t live withoutme, and she wants to marry me.""And you’re asking my permission to marry her?""No, I’m asking you to make her leave me the fuck alone."</blockquote>