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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064088049" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Men Suck</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?</p><p>- Women working at 900 numbers.</p><p>Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?</p><p>- In the pages of a romance novel.</p><p>What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?</p><p>- Exchange him.</p><p>Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?</p><p>- No phone numbers.</p><p>Why do men like smart women?</p><p>- Opposites attract.</p><p>_____________</p><p>HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:</p><p></p><p>Compliment her</p><p>cuddle her</p><p>kiss her</p><p>caress her</p><p>love her</p><p>stroke her</p><p>tease her</p><p>comfort her</p><p>protect her</p><p>hug her</p><p>hold her</p><p>spend money on her</p><p>wine & dine her</p><p>buy things for her</p><p>listen to her</p><p>care for her</p><p>stand by her</p><p>support her</p><p>go to the ends of the earth for her....</p><p></p><p>HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:</p><p></p><p>Show up naked.</p><p></p><p>____________</p><p>I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you.....</p><p>If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. </p><p>Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?</p><p>_____________</p><p>A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.</p><p>"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."</p><p>"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."</p><p>_______________</p><p>"Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."</p><p>"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said.</p><p>"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."</p><p>___________</p><p>A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"</p><p>"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.</p><p>"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064088049, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Men Suck[/COLOR][/B] Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? - Women working at 900 numbers. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? - In the pages of a romance novel. What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? - Exchange him. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men? - No phone numbers. Why do men like smart women? - Opposites attract. _____________ HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Compliment her cuddle her kiss her caress her love her stroke her tease her comfort her protect her hug her hold her spend money on her wine & dine her buy things for her listen to her care for her stand by her support her go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked. ____________ I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you..... If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort? _____________ A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." _______________ "Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." ___________ A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade." [/QUOTE]
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