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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064065404" data-attributes="member: 14320">ObsessionA man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him, "Doc, I think I have anobsession with sex." The doctor agrees to examine him and begins byshowing him various drawings. First the doctor draws a square and asksthe man to identify it. The man immediately says, "OMIGOSH!! Four peoplehaving sex!!!!".Next the doctor draws a circle, at which the man gasps, and says, "Oneman having sex."Thirdly, the doctor draws a triangle, which, of course, the patientidentifies as, "two woman and one man having sex". The doctor puts thedrawings away and says to the patient, "Yes, I do believe that you havean obsession with sex." To which the man replies, "ME????? YOU'RE theone drawing all the dirty pictures!"**********A Spanish guy bumps into a biker in a bar. The biker says, "Watch wherethe fuck you're going, pita breath." The Spanish guy says, "Hey, man,don't fuck with me. I know Latin judo." The biker says, "What the fuckis Latin judo?" The Spanish guy says, "Ju don't know if I have a knife,ju don't know if I have a gun..."************Here's to the girl from the Golden WestWho's tits stuck out like hornet's nestsThe skin on her belly was as tight as a drumAnd the cheeks of her ass would make a dead man comeThe jury convicted poor DollyOf a crime called sexual folly.Though she proved that her rapeWas performed by an ape,What she bore looked more like a collie.There was a young fool named Haynes,To get laid, he'd go to great painsNever a genius,He thought with his penis,But his prick was as dumb as his brains.Father John's BathIt was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun,SisterMagdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the oldnun had instructed.Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John'snakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, andpray.The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturdaynight bath had gone."Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved.""Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun."Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to washhim,and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legswhere he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.""Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key toHeaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and Iwould be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father Johnguided his Key to Heaven into my lock.""Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly."At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway tosalvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swellmy heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.""That wicked old Devil!" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel'sHorn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"THE ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FORQ: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?A: It's the same as a French kiss, but only "down under."Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But then they go, they take your house and car with them.Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourishbaby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman oncesay, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I canget ME a hit of that stuff."</blockquote>

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