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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064050066" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Five men end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Garry stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!"</p><p></p><p>So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and Garry puts the bag over the gorilla's head. He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty.</p><p></p><p>The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Garry's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Garry's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder. Garry yells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!!</p><p></p><p>They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you."</p><p></p><p>Garry said... "No, I mean the bag..I want to kiss the bitch!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls. One guy says to the other, " Man, I sure wish I could do that". The other guy says, " Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Brent was visiting his doctor complaining of a really painful ass.</p><p></p><p>Upon inspection, the doctor was amazed at the width of the man's asshole and asked him how this had come about.</p><p></p><p>'Well', replied Brent, 'I was on safari in Africa and was raped by a huge elephant.'</p><p></p><p>The doctor was dumbfounded and said 'I'm no expert at zoology, but I was sure that elephants had long but rather thin penises.'</p><p></p><p>'That much may be true' replied Brent, 'but the bugger fingered me off first!'</p><p></p><p></p><p>Guy from Oklahoma and guy from Arkansas were out hunting. They find a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. Guy from Oklahoma says. "Now's our chance," and he goes over and buggers the sheep. He gets done and says to the other guy, "Your turn." The guy from Arkansas goes over and sticks his head in the fence.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Did you hear about the homo whale?</p><p>He bit the tip off a submarine and sucked all the seamen out!</p><p>Why do you wrap duck tape around a guinea pig?</p><p>So it doesn't explode when you fuck it!</p><p>What do you get if you cross an armadillo with a vibrator?</p><p>An armadildo!</p><p>What do you call skunks having oral sex?</p><p>Odour eaters!</p><p>What do elephants use as tampons?</p><p>Sheep!</p><p>What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?</p><p>Sparky!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Paratroopers</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went</p><p>though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher</p><p>and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an</p><p>airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the</p><p>news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what</p><p>happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door</p><p>and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out</p><p>of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not</p><p>yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and</p><p>throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm</p><p>getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left</p><p>on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told</p><p>be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?" "Not</p><p>then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door</p><p>and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump</p><p>Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He</p><p>said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?´ I said, `No, sir. I´m too</p><p>scared.´ So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis</p><p>out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a</p><p>baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I´m</p><p>sticking this little baby up your ass.´" "So, did you jump?" asked the</p><p>father. "Well, a little, at first.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">============ ========= ========= ========= =</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young bride was once heard to say,</p><p>"Oh, dear, I'm wearing away!"</p><p>"The inside of my thighs,"</p><p>"Look just like mince pies,"</p><p>"For my husband won't shave everyday!"</p><p>A soldier known only as Sarge,</p><p>Had sex with a hooker named Marge,</p><p>Though only a grunt,</p><p>He assaulted her cunt,</p><p>An gave her an honourable discharge!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064050066, member: 14320"] Five men end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Garry stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!" So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and Garry puts the bag over the gorilla's head. He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty. The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Garry's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Garry's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder. Garry yells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!! They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you." Garry said... "No, I mean the bag..I want to kiss the bitch!" Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls. One guy says to the other, " Man, I sure wish I could do that". The other guy says, " Don't you think you ought to pet him first?" Brent was visiting his doctor complaining of a really painful ass. Upon inspection, the doctor was amazed at the width of the man's asshole and asked him how this had come about. 'Well', replied Brent, 'I was on safari in Africa and was raped by a huge elephant.' The doctor was dumbfounded and said 'I'm no expert at zoology, but I was sure that elephants had long but rather thin penises.' 'That much may be true' replied Brent, 'but the bugger fingered me off first!' Guy from Oklahoma and guy from Arkansas were out hunting. They find a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. Guy from Oklahoma says. "Now's our chance," and he goes over and buggers the sheep. He gets done and says to the other guy, "Your turn." The guy from Arkansas goes over and sticks his head in the fence. Did you hear about the homo whale? He bit the tip off a submarine and sucked all the seamen out! Why do you wrap duck tape around a guinea pig? So it doesn't explode when you fuck it! What do you get if you cross an armadillo with a vibrator? An armadildo! What do you call skunks having oral sex? Odour eaters! What do elephants use as tampons? Sheep! What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls? Sparky! [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Paratroopers[/COLOR][/B] A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?´ I said, `No, sir. I´m too scared.´ So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I´m sticking this little baby up your ass.´" "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first. [B][COLOR="Red"]============ ========= ========= ========= =[/COLOR][/B] A young bride was once heard to say, "Oh, dear, I'm wearing away!" "The inside of my thighs," "Look just like mince pies," "For my husband won't shave everyday!" A soldier known only as Sarge, Had sex with a hooker named Marge, Though only a grunt, He assaulted her cunt, An gave her an honourable discharge! [/QUOTE]
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