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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064026222" data-attributes="member: 14320">Snappy Comeback Lines"Did you take a bath?""Why, Is there one missing?""Are you chewing gum?""No, I'm John Smith.""I want to buy a dress to put on around the house.""Yes, Madam. How large is your house?""What are you going to be when you graduate?""An old man""I spent three years in college taking medicine.""Are you well now?"Do you say a prayer before you eat?""No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook.""I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home fordinner.""Who wants to eat friends?""We are having mother for dinner, darling.""Make sure she's well done.""I want some rat poison.""Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?""It seems that everything I say to you goes in one earand out the other.""Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears.""May I hold your hand?""No, thanks, It isn't heavy.""Does water always come through the roof in this place?""No, sir, only when it rains.""When will you straighten out the house, dear?""Why? Is it tilted?""Do these stairs take you to the second floor?""No, you'll have to walk""Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."I have changed! my mind."Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?Customer: What other colors do you have?This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.His wife says, "Where are you going?"He said, "I'm going to the doctor."And she said, "Are you sick?""No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her coat.He said, "Where are you going?"She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."He said, "Why?"She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."</blockquote>

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