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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063964796" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Benefits Of Growing Older...Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can'tremember them either....You consider coffee one of the most important things inlife....You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge....You can't remember the last time you laid on the floorto watch television....People who call at 9 p.m. ask, "Did I wake you?"...You send money to PBS....You can tune people out and pretend you are hard of hearingand they believe you....You don't have to worry about the cops being called whenyou throw a party because the neighbors don't even realizeit....In a hostage situation you are likely to be releasedfirst....People no longer view you as a hypochondriac....Things you buy now won't wear out....There's nothing left to learn the hard way....Your investment in health insurance is finally beginningto pay off....Kidnappers are not very interested in you....It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges tostick.....No one expects you to run into a burning building....Your joints are more accurate than the National WeatherService....Your eyes won't get much worse....Your supply of brain cells is finally down to amanageable size....You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter whowalks into the room....You can do anything without worrying about what people thinkabout you, because you just don't give a shit what theythink.*******A guy is in the pub toilet having a p*ss when the door opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a monster prick.To the man’s amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his dick into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams it into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then he slams it into the wall of the room, knocking a very large hole into it.The giant approaches the scared guy having a p*ss."Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks."Yes, " replies the guy taking a leak."Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?""No, I’m afraid I don’t, ""I’m going to shove it up your @rse !""Jesus, that’s a relief. I thought you were going to hit me with it!"A Lovely Young ThingThe playboy encountered a lovely young thing on one of his trips abroadand decided to marry her. Blessing the fact that she was not only avirgin but totally naive, he seized on the wedding night as a chance tobreak her in right, and had her suck him off a number of times. Thenextday the bride went to see her mother, and burst into tears almostimmediately."Oh, Mother," she sobbed . "I did so want to have children,and now I just know I never shall.""Now, now, dear, what makes you so sure?" asked the mother soothingly."Because." she wept, "because I'll never learn to swallowthat dreadful stuff!"~~~~~~~~~There was a young fellow named PaulWho confessed, "I have only one ball.But the size of my prickIs God's dirtiest trick,For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"~~~~~~~~~There was a debauched little wenchthat nothing could ever make her flinch.She admitted men's poles,At all possible holes,And she'd bugger, fuck, jerk off, and french.~~~~~~~~~"Good morning, ma'am, I've come to ask for collections, for theSalvation Army," said the man in the bright red Santa suit to the womanwho opened the door wearing nothing but panties and a see-throughnegligee."How do I know that?" the young woman replied. "How do I know you'rereally with the Salvation Army? How do I know you aren't some sexfiendwho has come to take advantage of a poor, defenseless female who's allalone in her house ... and will be until 5:30pm this evening?"</blockquote>

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