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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063954133" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little JohnnyLittle Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer.Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have some beer too?""Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back."No.""Well, then you're not big enough."Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette."Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again."No.""Well, then you're not big enough."Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies.His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick, so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies."______A cop stops his patrol car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb.The guy is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pouring down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."She says, "Yeah? Wait till I put this finger in his mouth."______Thought of the Day:Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain,and that's where you get shitty ideas from.ShortiesCensus Taker: "How many children do you have?"Redneck Woman: "Fo'."Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?"Redneck Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George."Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named yourfourth child 'George'?"Redneck Woman: "Because we didn't want any Mo'."======================================================================What's the difference between a young prostitute and an old prostitute?A young one uses Vaseline to get it in. An old one uses polygrip tokeep it in.======================================================================"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady."What's to be proud?" asked the old man."I noticed that when you sneeze you've learned to put your hand infront of your mouth.""Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth?"======================================================================How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitresswalked into the bar."It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and therewas a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lyingin the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull wasfractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course."What did you do?" asked the bartender."I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"======================================================================Why are blondes like cornflakes ?Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?Because she got an F in sex.</blockquote>

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