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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063938531" data-attributes="member: 14320">Marital DifficultiesJohn & Marsha were having marital difficulties, neither being able to satisfy the other sexually.One day Marsha visited her friend Dorothy, who was quite a woman of the world, and casually mentioned the problem."It's not the first time I've heard of it," said Dorothy."You can go to all the doctors in the world and they can't help you. But there is a remedy."For God's sake, Dorothy, tell me what it is!" exclaimed Marsha.She said, "Well, since you insist, and against my better judgment, I will tell you. The only remedy is for John to eat it.""Oh, no!" exclaimed Marsha, "He would never do that!"Dorothy shrugged. "There you have it -- take it or leave it. You asked and I told you."Driving home, Marsha prepared an unusually fine supper for John that night. When he returned from work he enjoyed it mightily, but wondered a bit about the reason for it."That was a great meal," he said. "Anything unusual happen today? Enjoy your visit with Dorothy?"Marsha told John of Dorothy's suggestion."Absolutely not!" he exploded."I won't engage in such disgusting practices."But Marsha urged and begged until finally John gave in."OK," he said. "I guess it won't hurt to try it once."Marsha went up and got into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck.When John arrived he surveyed the scene and tried to decide how to proceed. Finally he raised the covers at the foot of the bed and crawled under them.Groping around until he located his target, with much hesitation, he undertook his task.No sooner than he started, Marsha broke wind explosively.Under the covers, a muffled voice was heard to say...."Thank God for that breath of fresh air."======A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption at birth. One of the twins went to a family in Egypt, and was named "Amal." The other twin went to a family in Spain, and they named him "Juan."Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.Her husband responded, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." Farmer JohnsonIt was around 8:00 on a Friday night. Farmer Johnson was sitting in his living roomlistening to his radio when he heard a knock at his door. He stood up and answered the door. The young man standing there said "My name is Joe, I’m here for Flo we are going to the show is she ready to go?"The farmer called his daughter down the stairs, and she and her date left.A little while later another young man knocked at the door, and when the farmer answered the door, the young man said, "My name is Eddie, I'm here for Betty, and we’re going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called his second daughter down the stairs, and she and her date left.Not too long after that, another young man knocked at the door.the farmer again answered the door. The young man standing there said, "My name is Chuck, and I drive a truck..."Before the young man could say another word the farmer shot him dead on the spot.***********A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building; they were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Maw."************One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started ****** girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this."William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father."</blockquote>

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