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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063909495" data-attributes="member: 14320">One Liner Sex JokesQ. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?A. A private tutor.Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?A. Homeless.Q. What has 2 gray legs and 2 brown legs?A. An elephant with diarrhea.Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?A. Her lipstickQ. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?A. Wiped his ass.Q. What is the smallest hotel in the world?A. A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.Q. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?A. Even the pool table has no balls.Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?A. It's not hard.Q. What two words will clear out a men's changing room quicker than anything else?A. Nice dick!Q. How do you know when a Barbie has her period?A. All your tic tacks are gone.Q. What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?A. Popeye almost killed him!Q. What do you call three lesbians in bed together?A. Ménage é twat.Q. What do you do in case of fallout?A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes!Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?A. In case you miss.Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?A. So men can be open minded.Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?A. Snowballs.Q: What do you get when you give a faggot Alzheimer's?A: A guy who spends all day wondering why his ass hurts.Q: How do you know if your girlfriend is too young for you?A: You have to make airplane noises to get your cock inher mouth.Q: What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?A: A boneless chicken.Q: How does the blonde know when her guy has cum?A: The one standing in line behind him takes his place.Susie's New Cell PhoneA young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, somethingnice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her acell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of itsfeatures. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored hernew phone.The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to herastonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said,"how do you like your new phone?"Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear asa bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though...""What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband."How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"****************A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye whilecovering the right eye.The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor,in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, coveredup the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face."Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about gettingglasses.""I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wireframes."****************A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf ballsand sat down next to a beautiful ( you guessed it) blonde.The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully andfinally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"</blockquote>

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