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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063909032" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">****** DON'TS FOR GUYS</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things</p><p>NOT to say on a date...</p><p></p><p>"Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?"</p><p></p><p>"No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to</p><p>mix alcohol and penicillin."</p><p></p><p>"I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't</p><p>hurt to consider it."</p><p></p><p>"I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to</p><p>be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look."</p><p></p><p>"It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I</p><p>date just won't be as smart as I am."</p><p></p><p>"Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwear</p><p>hit the ground... Man! I never knew Jehovah's Witnesses could</p><p>run that fast."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Martin is four years old. One day while he was</p><p>pestering his mother, she said, "Why don't you go across</p><p>the street and watch the builders work, maybe you will</p><p>learn something."</p><p></p><p>Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his</p><p>mother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied -</p><p>"Well first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of</p><p>a bitch doesn't fit so you have to take the cock sucker</p><p>down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side</p><p>and put the mother fucker back up."</p><p></p><p>Martin's mother said, "Wait until your father gets home."</p><p></p><p>When Martin's father got home, Martin's mum told him to</p><p>ask Martin what he had learnt today. When Martin told</p><p>him the whole story, dad said, "Martin, go outside and</p><p>get me a switch." Martin replied, "Get fucked, Dad. That's</p><p>the electrician's job."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>For months the loving newlywed had asked his bride to give</p><p>him oral sex, but to no avail. His sweet entreaties never</p><p>worked, for the blushing bride was simply too innocent and</p><p>inexperienced to even *think* of such a thing, let alone</p><p>attempt it.</p><p></p><p>But a year of gentle persistence finally paid off, and one</p><p>night his darling nervously but lovingly performed the act.</p><p>When it was over, she looked deeply into his eyes and asked,</p><p>"How was I, sweetheart?"</p><p></p><p>He looked back at her and said, "How the hell should I know?</p><p>- I'm not a cocksucker!"</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>~~~~~</strong></span></p><p></p><p>Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands</p><p>when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10",</p><p>120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no</p><p>tan lines!!!</p><p></p><p>The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly,</p><p>and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women like</p><p>her that sometimes make me wish I was a LESBIAN!!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063909032, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]****** DON'TS FOR GUYS[/COLOR][/B] There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date... "Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?" "No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin." "I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it." "I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look." "It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am." "Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwear hit the ground... Man! I never knew Jehovah's Witnesses could run that fast." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Little Martin is four years old. One day while he was pestering his mother, she said, "Why don't you go across the street and watch the builders work, maybe you will learn something." Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied - "Well first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of a bitch doesn't fit so you have to take the cock sucker down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side and put the mother fucker back up." Martin's mother said, "Wait until your father gets home." When Martin's father got home, Martin's mum told him to ask Martin what he had learnt today. When Martin told him the whole story, dad said, "Martin, go outside and get me a switch." Martin replied, "Get fucked, Dad. That's the electrician's job." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] For months the loving newlywed had asked his bride to give him oral sex, but to no avail. His sweet entreaties never worked, for the blushing bride was simply too innocent and inexperienced to even *think* of such a thing, let alone attempt it. But a year of gentle persistence finally paid off, and one night his darling nervously but lovingly performed the act. When it was over, she looked deeply into his eyes and asked, "How was I, sweetheart?" He looked back at her and said, "How the hell should I know? - I'm not a cocksucker!" [COLOR="Red"][B]~~~~~[/B][/COLOR] Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10", 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a LESBIAN!!" [/QUOTE]
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