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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063909032" data-attributes="member: 14320">****** DON'TS FOR GUYSThere are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few thingsNOT to say on a date..."Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?""No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good tomix alcohol and penicillin.""I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn'thurt to consider it.""I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used tobe I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.""It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people Idate just won't be as smart as I am.""Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwearhit the ground... Man! I never knew Jehovah's Witnesses couldrun that fast."~~~~~Little Martin is four years old. One day while he waspestering his mother, she said, "Why don't you go acrossthe street and watch the builders work, maybe you willlearn something."Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, hismother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied -"Well first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son ofa bitch doesn't fit so you have to take the cock suckerdown. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each sideand put the mother fucker back up."Martin's mother said, "Wait until your father gets home."When Martin's father got home, Martin's mum told him toask Martin what he had learnt today. When Martin toldhim the whole story, dad said, "Martin, go outside andget me a switch." Martin replied, "Get fucked, Dad. That'sthe electrician's job."~~~~~For months the loving newlywed had asked his bride to givehim oral sex, but to no avail. His sweet entreaties neverworked, for the blushing bride was simply too innocent andinexperienced to even *think* of such a thing, let aloneattempt it.But a year of gentle persistence finally paid off, and onenight his darling nervously but lovingly performed the act.When it was over, she looked deeply into his eyes and asked,"How was I, sweetheart?"He looked back at her and said, "How the hell should I know?- I'm not a cocksucker!"~~~~~Two gay men are beach walking, holding handswhen a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10",120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and notan lines!!!The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly,and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women likeher that sometimes make me wish I was a LESBIAN!!"</blockquote>

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