Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063908242" data-attributes="member: 14320">Falls FlatAn Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finallysays that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat onhis face.He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe thatwill sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on hisface.So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face.He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bedhe tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed andis sound asleep.He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting athim. 'So, you've been out drinking again!!''How did you know?' he asks.'The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.'The counter man in the Ice Cream shop saw a customerleaving the drug store across the way, heading for his shop.The customer entered, set a small Thermos container on thecounter, and unwrapped a condom."Here, take this condom. Drop a scoop of ice cream in it."The counter man did so, and handed the condom, with its icecream content, to the customer. The customer placed thearrangement in the Thermos jug, and capped the jug."What," asked the ice cream purveyor, "is the reason forthat?""For three months, my wife has been bugging me for a deepfreeze. Tonight, by Golly, I'm going to give it to her."A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group oftampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying, "5boxesfor a dollar." Well, the woman just could not believe this price so sheasksthe clerk if it was correct. He said, "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."She said, "That can't be right!" The clerk says,"Oh yes, it's right!! 5 boxes for a dollar. No strings attached."I Will Survive~To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive"~At first I was afraid, I was petrified.By the ugly fucker lying by my side.I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed ...I tried to go, walk out the door.But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor.Your butt's a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,But I'd rather look at that, than at your fuckin' ugly face ...I want to go, I've got to leave.Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beerCuz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere!I can't believe that we both shagged.You should be wearing concrete shoes, or simply bound and gagged.I'm fucking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' trainand I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain.Please let me go, I feel quite sick,We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly little prick.I should have fucked your gorgeous roommate, at least he's got a nice tight assBut no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, and you have no class.It's time to go, run out the door.You look so ugly it should really be against the law.I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun,Cuz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun!»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«::::»§«::::»¤»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«::::»§«::::»¤Yes, in fact I do suffer from PMS ...Putting up with Men's Shit.»¤«::::»§«::::»¤As the doctor removed the fourth peanut butter cupfrom my rectum, I came to a very, very importantrealization: There *is* a wrong way to eat a Reese's.»¤«::::»§«::::»¤I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but it seemsas if everything I eat lately turns to shit.</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
- Started by david tao
- Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Recomendation to tire shop around Old Klang Road/OUG/Happy Garden?

I saw 3 cracked lines on my wife's car tire yesterday. I gotta have it changed, any good recomendation tire shop around these area? I know there's 1 Evo owner that owns a shop in Happy Garden right? Anyone can gimme...

SRS Airbag Recall - Honda Malaysia's Models are NOT affected

https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/honda-civic-hybrid_frontal-600x369.jpg

Honda has decided to expand a recall related to a defect in the driver’s SRS airbag installed on certain vehicles...

Driving The 2008 BMW M3 Coupe

http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/1918/7102007192823jv6.jpg

Driving The 2008 BMW M3 Coupe
Eight angry cylinders define BMW’s latest performance icon.

Marbella, Spain—Finally, after much anticipation during...